Sep 04 2008
The Eggshells of Happiness
Forget politics and religion. The thing you really can’t talk about is “happiness” — or its flip-side, “depression.” The masses will eat you alive. Everyone has a strong opinion, a strong personal experience, and even perhaps an unfair judgment or two… or three.
So… let’s do some polls. How I love vizu and their polls, because I can ask you questions that you might otherwise be afraid to answer. But with a poll, you know that I have no way of knowing how you voted. Therefore, you can answer honestly. And then I think we can have a fascinating conversation, based on the data gathered in my poll, over the next few days. So, ready… set… vote.
This first one is one of those fun ones where you can check multiple answers, so click on everything that applies to you!
Online Surveys & Market Research
And now, the final question:
I’ll leave these polls open until midnight on Friday. I’m interested to see where this discussion goes!
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What if none of the questions in the first box applied to me?
I have never taken anti-depressants, but since having a child and my life going from 100mph to 0 I sometimes wish I could.
I’m stuck in a box with no way out.
And where did these tears come from all of a sudden?
Because I had a crappy day or a crappy year? (see this: http://2heartsandababy.blogspot.com/2008/09/elitism.html)
I feel like I’m asking for help, have in fact for years, and no one has heard me. Makes me wonder if I am in fact invisible.
I also was unable to vote on either poll because I’m so average and middle of the road. I do think that there are alternative ways to treat depression, but I definitely believe that medication is one great way to deal with it.
I’m looking forward to seeing the results and the discussion that follows it.
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Krista: help yourself. Whether you are depressed or not, only YOU can change it. (And that’s what they’ll tell you if you go to therapy; I’m saving you money!)
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Those are tricky questions and I felt the need to further elaborate on my answers. I think anti-depressants are over- prescribed but sometimes they are absolutely needed. and sometimes exercise and diet are needed!
I hate that there is such a stigma attached to mental health issues still. Old issue, but I disagreed strongly with Tom Cruise. Things like postpartum depression are real and sometimes meds are the best way to get over that hump.
Krista, I am sorry you feel that way. It is a lonely place to be. I have felt that way myself sometimes.
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I take anti-depressants, but because I have OCD, not depression per se, although I think occasionally depending on how my OCD is going it can make me depressed. So, while I do take medication, I couldn’t really answer the poll because the questions didn’t really apply to me.
I still, however, think that they’re overdone a lot of the time. My DH was offered Zoloft to help him ‘get over the hump’ of turning 40! He didn’t take it, but he could have. Weird. I think that people expect happiness to be this huge, shining thing, like it is on TV, but just like other ‘reality’ shows, real life is much more quiet and nuanced. In other words, people who have a chemical imbalance or a period of intense disturbance need medication, but people who are merely ‘unhappy’ for a short time do not.
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I will come out and say I am on antidepressents and anxiety medication. I have suffered from anxiety most my life. I do not come out and tell many people because of the stigma of it. I am not a loony although sometimes I think I am lol. I seem to worry alot about not so neccesary things. I was raised in a chaotic household with alchohol and drugs and emotional abuse. But I am working on standing strong and being the happiest I can be. I want my children to see their mother as a happy healthy loving and strong person. Antidepressents are not magic pills that make it all better. really they just help get that edge off. I do notice more and more people on medication and I worry and wonder what that is all about. Take care
I think that anti-depressants are over prescribed- but I also think that sometimes they are necessary. I think that depression is a very real chemical imbalance (physical problem) with the brain that needs meds to overcome. I think sometimes you’re handling it okay and then 50 things happen at once (having a baby, moving, job change and on and on) and then you can’t ‘handle’ it anymore and that’s okay.
I’m undecided how much anti-depressant prescriptions on the rise are from doctor’s wanting to ‘fix’ things quickly and how much is from the falling away of the stigma about depression and people’s willingness to talk about it.
I’d much rather people medicated with antidepressants then with alcohol or drugs.
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There’s one statement I would have added to your first box: There are various ways to treat depression and each person must find the way that works best for them–and not judge others for choosing a different way.
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I think the people who feel sadness are the ones who feel judged. Though I have never struggled with depression, I sometimes feel badly when I write about the happy things in my life because I know some of my friends are struggling so much!
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I’m in the majority of your poll results right now, but comment because I don’t care if people know my opinions. I do think pills can be good in some cases, but for curing depressions it isn’t the way to go, and there is lots of evidence to back that up. But lots of people are lazy and will just take a pill so they don’t have to do any real work.
On your second poll question, I think people usually judge other people based on their happiness or sadness, the judgment is just usually negative if you’re not happy.
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Your questions are excellent and the results (so far) are fascinating. Love it!
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I’ve had recurrent depression all of my adult life and have taken anti-depressants 3 separate episodes. I definitely believe in the help that anti-depressants can provide, but I think they are but one tool in the toolbox, so to speak. Diet, exercise, sleep patterns, support systems, spirituality all play into depression as well, and if one hopes to address all of it with one little pill, well, one is sorely mistaken.
I’ve told my bff, struggling with PPD right now, that meds help take the edge off and provide the clarity of mind such that one CAN begin to address the other tools in the box when before meds, one usually can’t even go there.
My doc, who’s seen me thru 2 of these episodes, has been the one to help me realize that depression must be treated comprehensively, not just clinically. And this most recent time, I am off my meds after just a few months and feeling great! That’s not to say people ought to just stop - I’ve always consulted with my doc for cessation strategies - but for me, the meds have been the kickstart my brain has needed to get me back to normal functioning.
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This is depressing.
I don’t take them - never have. My doctor offered me Xanax before my wedding because I had a rash - A RASH! And my husband’s doc prescribed Lexapro for him without sending him to a mental health professional and the side effects he had nearly split our marriage apart at the seams.
My husband needed something for his depression and rage but he also needed someone to talk to and someone to monitor his reactions. Thankfully after his experience with Lexapro he saw a counselor and figured out he needed more of a mood stabilizer than an antidepressant and he’s pretty even keel these days.
I do think that antidepressants are needed for many people and essential to their well being. But I also think there are many people on them who really just need a change of scenery or to buck up and take control of their lives. For most normal people I do think happiness is a choice, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. For those with a chemical imbalance it is not a choice they can make and I do understand that.
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Bryan, YOU are depressing. Wait . . . not really?
SO, I’m very opinionated on this subject. I have taken anti-depressants on two occasions in my life and they helped SO much. I’m a normally happy person and I knew something was very wrong when I had no desire to eat, sleep, wake up, go anywhere, see anyone . . . the pills gave me the little boost I needed to re-join the human race. That being said, I also think there are other ways to treat depression and that anti-depressants are over prescribed. I sort of have ALL views on this. I think each person has a very special case and that sometimes, a person will want to take the easy road and stay medicated. Other times, a person NEEDS the medication.
I know that chronic depression is VERY real and I feel for the people who constantly struggle with it.
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C’mon now. You like how I “depress” you.
That has a suitably innuendo-ish sound, without really providing any substance.
Personally, I’m not sure that our opinions matter. All I want to know is: What would Michael Savage say about this? What would Savage do? WWSD? His opinion on autism seemed especially helpful, so maybe he could shed some light on this.
I am all up in this here polling!
I can’t wait to see what goes where.
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Thanks so much for sharing this brillig. As someone currently dealing with depression, it does give me strength to be reminded that I am not the only one. I can relate to the feeling of being judged. It is a shame that some people can’t just understand that just because they haven’t been depressed, those of us that deal with it aren’t defective .
Thanks again..I am not posting anymore but will be sure to stop in and check on ya.
((((hugs))))
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Am I weird that I voted for a lot of ones that are contradictory?
I think that people who are depressed need less judging for how they are dealing with it and more love.
Actually, that’s probably true for everyone.
It’s the platitudes that bother me. People coming out with simple statements they state as if they’re facts. Everyone’s experience is different. There are different posisble causes. There are different possible solutions.
When my own mood issues spiralled out of control I got to the brink. The very brink of wanting to be done with all the misery and hurting. And I told my doctor. And you know what she told me? She told me I wasn’t depressed. That I was just unsettled because we were moving a lot and that when we settled down I’d be fine.
I was not fine. I spent a full year being very, very not fine.
I ended up being forced by friends to seek out help, took anti-depressants for a year (finally felt human again - not in a fog, just…human), and now I’m coping without them through other means (blogging about my feelings, being honest with myself, cutting back on junk food and sugar, exercising more).
But everyone’s path is different. We need to judge less. Give generalized advice less. And love more.
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My older brother is a crazy whack job without being on Zoloft. My other two brothers suffer from PTSD from serving two tours in Iraq, but have dealt with their difficulties in some pretty amazing ways…like music and such. One was on something for a short time, but he said it made him feel like a zombie. Music was a better drug for him.
I have felt, during one period in my life, that I SHOULD be on something because I was heartily depressed for four years. Pride convinced me NOT to take something and then I realized it was just a really bad marriage. So, I got out of the marriage and that fixed my depression in a jiffy. For me, divorce was the best anti-depressant out there! Followed of course by a fantasmic marrriage, which again, is a total upper!
this post has both happied and depressed me. yes, other, wiser bloggers might have said uplifted. i said happied.
i kid.
my mom has been diagnosed bipolar. and i feel really really guilty because i see my brother going the same way and am relieved *he* got those genes and not me.
i’m a bad bad sister.
but i’m *happy*…
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I don’t mind saying I voted, “Except in extreme cases, happiness is a choice.” But I also think that the determination of extreme is highly subjective. One’s extreme is not another’s extreme. For me “extreme” would be being so debilitated by unhappiness that one cannot perform the daily tasks of life, and cannot find the joy in simply being alive. When you are so unhappy that you become destructive of relationships, people, and self, then you need help. And if anti-depressants is the answer then why not? I don’t think being depressed is being defective just like I don’t think someone who has allergies is defective. I’m not equating the 2 but just trying to make a point that it’s all part of having imperfect physical bodies. The attached stigma to depression is so unfortunate because it prevents people from getting the help they need.
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I have been on anti-depressants for about 7 years, and have zero desire to go off them. BUT, it took me almost a full year to go on them after having them recommended to me. I understand that people judge that, but for me, it’s so much easier to put myself together when I have them. Thanks for bringing up the topic- it’s reminded me that it’s not so ‘crazy’ after all.
I also voted very contradictorially (is that a word? It should be.) I do think that anti-depressants are over prescribed, but that there are times when they are needed. Better anti-depressants than suicide.
However, from my own experience, diet, exercise and adequate sleep made all the difference in me getting over a hump. But humps are different than depression. I get the post partum blues and all that good stuff. But then it ends.
Sometimes I think that part of the problem is that people are so impatient. They want to feel better now. But sometimes it doesn’t work that way with the humps.
I’m 100 percent in favor of pills for some people. I have a sil who needs them and when she tried to go off them, we could watch her spiral out of control. They are good things when used with wisdom.
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I didn’t read all of Kimberly’s comments, because, honestly speaking, I’m going cross-eyed with fatigue right now, but from what I read - I’m with her. Everyone’s experience is unique and everyone’s needs are going to be different.
We all have different body chemistry and different life experiences.
I don’t think there will ever be a simple answer on this one.
As usual, I think you gave us great food for thought, Brillig.
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Different strokes for different folks. It’s true because it rhymes.
You need to distinguish between clinical depression (a serious medical condition) and just feeling chronically unhappy. I wouldn’t recommend pills for the latter.
Nourishing food, a bit of exercise, taking regular holidays from yourself, a good relation with God, avoiding drugs and booze all help.
I didn’t vote (sorry!) because none of the responses resonated with me. Depression runs in my family (doesn’t it in everyone?) and Rx have literally saved dear ones’ lives. I do feel very fortunate to feel good about my life but it can change.
Great that you are getting people to talk about this.
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