Twas Brillig

Hey, all!  Brillig here.  This guest-post came from my dear friend Gunfighter, but it arrived during the interim “I don’t have an internet connection” period while I was moving.  But better late than never, right?  Give it up for my pal Gunfighter!

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Hi! 

My name is Gunfighter… well, not REALLY, but that’s what people call me here, in internetland.  Anyway… since you are reading this, you already know that the lovely Brillig (no, really, she’s a looker)  is otherwise disposed for the time being, which leaves me as the last in a long line of guest posters.  It is my great hope that I won’t bore you to tears with my rambling prose (it’s happened before, people, and I am telling you that it isn’t pretty!)

Well.  About me… um, I am, first and foremost a servant of my church and family.  I am married with two children and I work in federal law enforcement…  I have a blog… and some of you may even have read it once or twice.  If you ever feel the need for something to help you sleep, you can just drop on by and read whatever I am raving about at the moment.  I run a friendly blog, and I swear infrequently… so, come on by.

OK, enough shameless self-promotion.

Recently I had a conversation with a fellow blogger, the subject of which was firearms.  In our discussion, we talked about how much training she had and things of that sort.  Eventually, she asked me for some advice on training, which I am only too happy to give.  I am posting it to my blog in hopes that someone else will read it and find it useful.

First, I’d like to address the title of this post.  I gave it the title “Training For Battle” because that is the essence of what we are talking about here, friends.  Carrying a gun for protection means that you  may need to use that weapon in a fight.  A fight for your very life.  There is no more serious contest that that.  The prize for victory in a gunfight is to be able to continue to draw breath.

The loser gets to take a dirt-nap.

So… in light of the things that I mentioned above, let’s talk about training.  I suppose the first question that has to be answered is “what do I want to do with a gun?” 

Remember, guns are tools.  They are tools made for a specific purpose, and that purpose is to kill.  If we are talking about handguns, I will amend that last statement to say that guns are made to kill people.  If you are in that particular group of self-delusional people that sometimes say that guns are a deterrent, that guns are about protection, that guns are made to “stop threats”, I will ask you to disabuse yourself of such self-indulgent nonsense.

My friends, using a gun is about killing.  If you can’t wrap your head around that, get rid of your guns, invest in a good alarm system, and buy a dog that barks.  Seriously, if you don’t think that you can kill.  You ought not have a gun.

That said, we ought to be right up front about the nonsense that some people espouse about shooting to “wound or disable”.  I call it nonsense because that is what it is.  Why?  because bullets cause horrible wounds, thats why!  You see, killing a person is more humane that wounding, or perhaps maiming them.  Yeah, I know… it’s a little ghoulish, but it’s true.

So, once you have decided that owning a handgun might be something that you ought to do, and you have made your peace with potentially killing someone, lets look at the next question that you have to answer for yourself, to wit:  “What kind of gun do I need/want?”

There are no small number of firearms manufacturers in the United States and elsewhere that will be happy to sell you the priciest gun around, and while some or most of those guns will be really nice… you probably don’t need to spend a large sum of money to purchase a fighting pistol.  While shopping, take the following things into account:  “Do I plan to regularly carry this gun concealed?”  If the answer to that question is “yes”, then you need to consider size.  Size also matters when you look down at your hands… if you have small hands, you’ll need a smaller gun.

If you plan to carry concealed, you are going to have to think about the sort of clothes you wear.

Another consideration is bullet caliber.  As Americans, we tend to believe that bigger is always better… well, as Sportin’ Life said in Porgy & Bess, “It ain’t necessarily so”  Personally, I am a fan of big bullets.  big bullets make big holes in people.  They cause greater wound cavitation and they do a better job of destroying tissue and breaking bones.  Having said that, you really don’t need a .44 magnum do do enough damage to put down an assailant.  The thing here is that, generally speaking, bigger bullets means more recoil.  My advice in this arena is to try different guns in different calibers… see what works best for you

Moving on, we have to ask:  “Do I have the self discipline to enter into a life of regular training and practice?”

You see, marksmanship is a perishable skill.  If you don’t practice, whatever skills you may have acquired will atrophy.  So, you are going to need to get some high-quality training… and by high-quality, I don’t mean some Nimrod who hangs around at your local range, who will tell all and sundry what he knows about pistol craft from his time as a Navy Seal/Ninja.  There are lots of good trainers all over the country folks, so do your homework.

Once trained, you need to practice regularly.  You need to practice shooting from the drivers seat of a car; while seated at a desk; while holding a child or a child’s hand; while running; while ducking; while seeking cover; while flat on your belly; while flat on your back.  You’ll need to learn to shoot and move…. and so much more.  You’ll have to practice those skills once you have acquired them.  Once you have practiced a particular skill to the point where it is ingrained, you STILL HAVE TO PRACTICE.   Get used to it… this is your life now.  It’s sort of monastic isn’t it? Well, there you go.

So, we are going to make intelligent choices about why/if we need a gun, we will make wise choices with regard to what type of gun/what caliber we are going to purchase.  We are going to make good training decisions, and promise to devote ourselves to a life time of training & practice.

All set, right?

Not so much.

Guess what we forgot?

THE LAW!

Hey kids… before you do any of the stuff I listed above, you need to go out and learn the laws concerning firearms and their use in your individual states, county, towns and cities.  Even acting in your own self defense, you still need to know what the law says.

Lastly.  Let’s talk about safety.  I don’t know of any more tragic stories than those of people who have done stupid things with guns.  So please, be mindful of a few basic things:

Treat all guns as if they are loaded.

Guns and alcohol don’t mix.  Ever.

Never point a gun at anything that you are not willing to kill or destroy.

Keep your finger off of the trigger until you have identified your target.

There are more safety rules, but these are a good start.  Learn them.  Know them.  Live them

If you have any further questions, feel free to give me a buzz.

GF

PS:  If you were planning to ask me what the best gun manufacturer is, I will tell you that the best gun top buy is a very personal thing, as the gun must suit YOU, the shooter.  Having said that, I will tell you that for my money, the best combat handguns, right out of the box, are made by Glock.
Thanks so much, Brill, for letting me blather to your readers… and if you plan to visit my blog, please note that I don’t spend much time talking about guns!

I KNEW I was better than just about everyone else!  I KNEW it!  And now you know it too.  Though, I realize that this WON’T be news to most of you.  I mean, OBVIOUSLY this would be my result:

(It does make me wonder, though, how smart people do on such a quiz.)

Thank GOODNESS I’ve managed to find a way to channel all that brilliance and get RICH.

Oh wait…

Interestingly enough, Hypatia is the only female of all time who was considered a “Universal Genius.”  (We know of more men who qualify— possibly because throughout history men were given more opportunities to display their intelligence, possibly because men simply tend to do better in tests of logic.  But I’m SO NOT GETTING myself into THAT debate!)  I’m pretty sure that I, um, don’t exactly measure up to Hypatia’s genius.  Or, you know, even the brilliance of most of my acquaintances.  Still, I can tell people that some silly internet quiz says that I’m a Universal Genius, and therefore I MUST be!  Because silly internet quizzes DO NOT LIE!

Also, in a somewhat related vein, there’s a part in Becoming Jane where Tom LeFroy tells Jane Austen, “I think that you consider yourself a cut above the company— secretly.”  This, of course, is on the heels of her announcing to her friends that she considers him to be pompous and arrogant.  The line (in fact, the whole story) is not historically accurate— we have no reason to believe that he said anything like that to her.  Still, I found it intriguing.

I was talking with my dear bloggy friend Jenn in Holland a while back and we were discussing how we have both felt, for much of our lives, like we were the fish out of water.  Not in a dibilitating or alienating way or anything morbid like that.  Just that we were… a little different from the rest of the crowd.  Whether we were at Church, school, society in general, we just felt a little bit different.  But the more people I talk to, the more I hear this story.  It got me thinking that perhaps EVERYONE feels like a fish out of water.  Does anyone ever actually feel like they fit in?  Like they are one of the crowd?  Like they belong?

And, even more interesting, do you think that you’re not just “not a part of the group,” but better than the group?  I’ve been contemplating this for some time, and I decided that it was time to poll Teh Internets.  Remember that with my polls, your answers are completely confidential— I have NO WAY of knowing who voted how.  So… be honest!

Online Surveys & Market Research

And by “better,” I mean any of the following: smarter (like me and my Universal Genius-ness), more moral, more righteous, more interesting, richer, better dressed, better coiffed, more experienced, more successful, better with money, funnier, prettier, deeper, more charismatic, more charming, or any other thing that YOU think makes YOU better than others.

Polls close tomorrow at midnight (Mountain Time). We’ll continue the discussion after the poll results (and your comments) are in!

My husband is of the opinion that my blog is a combination of utter nonsense mixed in with a never-ending whine-fest.  Seriously.  He tells me this the other night, much to my chagrin!  Of course, we have to admit that my husband never actually READS my blog (except when I force him to— usually at gun-point…) but still, I got to thinking about it.  Is it nonsense?  Then I got to thinking, what if I were to write nonsense on purpose?  Would my friends still comment?  Would strangers comment?  And if so, what would they say?

And so, yesterday’s post was born.  In 30 seconds, a few sentences of nonsense rushed from my fingertips.  Easiest blog post I ever wrote!

And what happened?  How did the experiment go?

Well, some of you (possibly to your horror) thought that I was serious— that this was really part of a book that I was writing.  You were very encouraging…  but I now know to NEVER trust your comments about something I’ve written.  Hahahaha.

I loved how Heffalump continued the story for me.  That was awesome, girl!  Haha.  We should collaborate on nonsense together more often!

Then there were the more daring of you— those of you who, in your own words, basically said, “what in the crap what that?”  You, especially Holly (whose comment KILLED me), get a sticker for being so honest.

There was only a handful of comments all together— 15 at last count.  Not a slap in the face, exactly, but certainly not a “successful” post.  And no strangers, only dedicated friends.  Hahaha.  You ladies are the best.

Anyway, this was fun.  That’s all it was really supposed to be.  Thanks for playing along.

It did, however, cause me to ponder the idea of an Austenian/Dickinsian parody— something I’d never really considered until I read some of your comments yesterday.  What do you think?  I’m considering two ideas— either starting a new blog, or going for the gusto and writing a book.  It’s NOT the sort of book I’m supposed to be writing right now and I really should wait until I finish (read: re-start) the book I’m working on right now.  But… I think it has potential…

By the way, when I told Brian what I’d done yesterday, he rolled his eyes and said, “has it REALLY come to that?  You have nothing to say and so you write nonsense on PURPOSE?”  At which point, I patted him on the head and told him how sorry I am that he doesn’t have any friends.

Fortunately for Jane, Lady Violet had already had a chance to throw the dart and did not wish for another opportunity, and so it was Miss Limpleton’s turn.  Ready, aim…

Just then, Heinrich Hendrickson announced that there was a fire in the wine cellar and that everyone would need to evacuate.

Alas, the dart had already left the soft, supple hand of Miss Limpleton.  As if in slow- motion, every head in the room turned to watch the dart glide gracefully through the air and plunge itself into the buttox of Lord Branleigh.

A gasp was audible all the way to London.

But Jane smiled inwardly, knowing that now, finally, her engagement to William Fitzknicker would be made public.

This is my jaw, fully dropped to the floor:

According to Michael Savage (who obviously isn’t one of my favorite people ANYWAY), a child with autism is “a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out.” Autism is a result of bad parenting.  And Savage’s cure for autism is for the child’s father to say, “stop acting like a putz.  Straighten up.  Act like a man.  Don’t sit there crying and screaming, idiot.”  Or, my personal favorite, “don’t act like a girl.”

So… if my husband and I would just punish Isaac every time he starts whacking his head against the wall, then he’d be well. Or if we’d just told him to “act like a man” he would have been able to walk when other children his age walked. And if we would just yell at Isaac and call him an idiot, he would suddenly be able to speak.

Brilliant.

Savage has been given a thousand opportunities to clarify what he said and to take it back, but he won’t. He stands by his words. (See the NY Times article here).

Someone tell me WHY this man still has a job?

What was perhaps equally disturbing for me when I heard about this and then researched it were all the comments I see all over the place by equally horrid people saying things like, “whew! It’s about TIME someone told the truth about autism.” And “Go Savage.” And “anyone with an autistic child just needs to take a PARENTING CLASS.”

Wow.

I don’t think that there’s a more sweet, vulnerable, easy-to-target group of people in the world than autistic children.

Also, I don’t think there’s a group of more scared, confused, and guilt-ridden (not because it’s their fault AT ALL, but because mothers tend to feel guilt, especially when something is wrong with a child) people than parents of autistic children.

It must make Savage and Friends feel SOOO good about themselves to have found someone to pick on…

Many of you have noticed (and mentioned) that the little tab up at the top of my page here that says “Blogroll” is pretty much empty.  Non-existent.  I have no blogroll.

But now that I’m in a new place and I’m kinda starting up this bloggy thing again, it’s probably time I do it right.  And put in a blogroll.  A real blogroll that’s really representative of what I read and who reads me.

This is where you come in.  See…  I’m planning to cheat.  Yup.  I’m a cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater.  Rather than devouring through past comments here and blog-hopping and all the stuff that’s USUALLY involved in creating a comprehensive blogroll, I’m going to just ask you to leave me a comment with your link.  Now… those of you who have been around since way back in my blogspot days will have an automatic link if you were linked up there.  (To peruse that ancient, way out-of-date blogroll, click here.)

Now don’t be shy.  You want a link?  Just ask for it.  If you don’t ask for it (and you weren’t on that above-mentioned blogroll) then chances are very good that you won’t get a link.  Because I’m just not that organized.

So, to lighten the mood around here, I’m throwing in an encore of what was quite possibly my favorite post from my old blog.  That’s right, folks.  Prepare yourselves for “I Think I’ll Link You.”  I’m channeling David Cassidy now… And you KNOW how I love me some David Cassidy!

Hahahahahahahahaha

The following song is based on, nay, INSPIRED by David Cassidy’s “I Think I Love You.”

I THINK I’LL LINK YOU
(Dedicated to my blogroll-in-progress…)

Blog, blog, blog, blog,
Blog-blog, blog, blog, blog,
Blog, blog-blog, blog, blooooooggggg

I’m blogging
And right in the middle of a good post
Like all at once I read up
On someone that leaves comments on my site.
With all my heart and might I set my fingers on the keys,
I’ll try not to feel the squeeze
As I type out words like these:
“I think I’ll link you!”

This blogroll
Is getting long and lengthy
I didn’t know how to deal with
And so I just decided to myself
I’d put limits on myself and never link another
And didn’t I go and write it
When I typed your URL.
“I think I’ll link you!”

I think I’ll link you.
So what am I so afraid of?
I’m afraid that I’m not sure of
A blogroll there’s no room for.

I think I’ll link you.
Isn’t that what blogs are made of?
Though it worries me to see
That you haven’t yet linked me!

I don’t know where to comment next.
I don’t know who to learn about.
I got so much to blog about.

Hey!!!!!!!

I think I’ll link you.
So what am I so afraid of?
I’m afraid that I’m not sure of
A blogroll there’s no room for.

I think I’ll link you.
Isn’t that what blogs are made of?
Though it worries me to see
You haven’t yet linked me!

Believe me,
You really don’t have to tag me.
I only want to read your MEME
And if you say,
“Hey, go away,” I will, but I think better still
I’d better comment and not lurk you.
Will you offer me some hope?
Of getting linked on your blogroll?
Do you think you’ll link me?

I think I’ll link you.
Oh, I think I’ll link you.
Oh, I think I’ll link you.
Oh, I think I’ll link you.
Oh, I think I’ll link you.
Oh, I think I’ll link you.
Oh, I think I’ll link you.
Oh, I think I’ll link you.
Oh, I think I’ll link you.

Today, I turn 30.  I’m not a kid anymore.  No, in fact, I’m a big fat old lady.  Sigh.  I guess I’ll just roll over and die.  No— wait.  I’ll roll over and die TOMORROW, after I’ve opened my presents, spent my birthday money, and eaten ALL THE CAKE.

At the end of my mission, just before I turned 21, the Elders were making bets that I’d be married by age 22.  I vowed that I would NOT get married until I was thirty.

Hahaha.  And 8 years and 4 children later…

30!  That’s huge!  There are several people who will truly be shocked that I’ve managed to stay alive this long!

So Happy Birthday to MEEEEEE!!!!  Yippeeeee!  Thirty is gonna be a good year.  I can feel it in my old, decrepit, aged, osteoperosis-ed bones.

Yeah.  Hi.  I’m alive.  Who knew?

Well, not YOU, because I haven’t been in touch.

Guess where I am.

Go on.  Guess.

For those of you who said, “I’m guessing that Brillig is at the Highland’s Ranch Public Library,” you would be correct.

Because I still don’t have internet at my house.

And yet my heart is still beating…

…faintly.

This is the first time I’ve been in front of a computer since the last post I wrote two weeks ago!!!  I’ve missed you SO MUCH!!!  Oh, and the title of my post?  Completely true.  That’s AFTER deleting the spam.  So… yeah.  It’s gonna be a while before I get back to all my dear ones.  But I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all the thoughts and love in my absence!

Oh.  So, get this.  Guess where my oldest two kids are!

Go on.  Guess.

If you said, “I bet they’re in school because school here is year-round and the first day of the new school year was TODAY,” you’d be correct again.

Yup.  July 9th is the first day of the school year.  Holy crap.

So, that’s what I’ve been doing for the last two weeks, besides the whole, oh, MOVING thing.  I’ve been racing to get my kids ready for school.  I had NO IDEA that they’d be starting today when I first got here.  A kind neighbor let me in on that little secret a few days after we arrived here.  WOWZERS.  I was stunned!  I thought I had till September—or at least August.  So, I’ve been racing around getting Bubba all of his immunizations and paper work in for Kindergarten and Fluffy’s school records transferred, etc.  Oh, and shopping for the TEN BILLION items on their “school supplies” lists.  And spending way too much money on new clothes for them.  It’s crazy, but it’s also good.  I’m happy because THEY are SO HAPPY!  And they were SO cute in their brand new clothes with their brand new back packs.  Oh, I could just die of cuteness.  Seriously.  Dying here.

Okay, that doesn’t really catch you up, but at least you know that I’m thinking about you and missing you.  I really will start reading my email— when I don’t have children strapped into a stroller screaming. 

(Yeah—they JUST threw me out of the grown-ups section of the library because my kids were so loud.  THEY THREW ME OUT!  It’s been a long time since I’ve felt quite this… um… embarrassed.  I think my face was purple.  But I’m over it now—and writing to you from the CHILDREN’s section of the library, where my kids can scream and they fit right in.  I, however, look a bit awkward on the little tiny chair in the little child-size cubby that I’m writing you from.  hahahahahaha.)

Join us next week (oh, gosh, please let it be sooner than that!) when the Brillig gang will hopefully have joined the 21st century and have internet in their very own home… 

(And I know that a few of you are wondering about your guest-posts, since I kinda left you hanging.  I’ve received them and they’ll be published as soon as I can get that organized.  Thanks again for playing along with the guest bloggity blogness-ness!)