Twas Brillig

And what better format than a list?

1. I’m listening to INXS’s “Never Tear Us Apart” and laughing about how when I was a kid I thought the song said, “they could never tell us apart.”

2. We close on our house in Denver (Highland’s Ranch, to be specific— a delightful little suburb in the southern metro area) on Wednesday. We picked the one with the deck, view, and yard. All the T’s are crossed, the I’s are dotted, it appears that this is actually going to happen. I know! It only took, oh, TWO MONTHS LONGER than it was supposed to. But I’m grateful.

3. I was able to actually SEE said house last weekend. Yup. I loaded four kiddos into the minivan and drove the eight hours on narrow, winding roads across the Rockies… on three hours of sleep, no less. Possibly not the smartest thing I ever did, but hey! I lived! We met up with that hot hubby of mine that night and stayed with him at my brother’s house– my brother and his fam were in Hawaii, so they offered to let us crash there in the meantime. It was wonderful, though a bit hectic since Chris’s house is SPOTLESS and my children are… um… not good at spotless. Neither am I, for that matter. Anyway, we saw the house (and the others that we passed up on… or lost to the STUPID FRICKIN’ BRACKIN’ BRACKIN’ FRICKEN’ STUPID Federal Government— but I’m over it, can’t you tell?) and I was almost surprised that I actually LIKED it! Some things will have to be dealt with, of course. A loft will have to be converted into a bedroom (by simply adding a wall)— apparently we’re not in Utah anymore, and they don’t make houses (in my meager price range) with enough bedrooms for families like mine. Also, the cabinetry in the house is a gorgeous cherry wood, but the previous owners painted the kitchen red. Now, I really have no problem with a red kitchen—I’ve done that myself in the past. But this makes the cabinets blend right into the walls and therefore the beautiful woodwork is entirely lost. And we can’t have that. No, we can’t. So, I shall wield a mighty paint brush and transform it to a rich buttermilk color… or something. Okay, I’m rambling. Done now. But besides those little tiny changes that will need to be made, it’s the perfect house for our little clan and I’m excited.

4. While in Colorado, I went to church in what will be my new ward (congregation). When I got to Relief Society (the women’s group), I was asked to introduce myself. “I’m a writer,” I said. I think it may be the first time I’ve ever actually said that out loud in public. I felt like such a poser. I mean, I AM a writer, right? And yet… what exactly have I written? I don’t know. It just feels wrong to claim a particular talent that I may or may not have. Still, maybe if I say it out loud in the mirror every day— like a daily affirmation— then it will be true. In the meantime, though, you may call me Brilli-Vanilli. A total poser, who doesn’t deserve the title I apparently claim.

In fairness, though, I’ve been working on my book a lot, despite the mass chaos in my life. I have a story I like, characters that I care about (or hate, in a few cases). I’m still trying to find my voice— that’s been an interesting process. I went through a mind-shift, like, “I must put away the blogger in me and be the YA fiction-er.” I was working that way for a while, but I didn’t like it. It’s not me. Last night I thought, “I was told to write a book because people like my blogging. What if I can’t actually write a book? Or… maybe I should write a book with the same voice that I write my blog!” So I’m working on that angle now. I’ve re-vamped everything and made my voice sound a little more like my voice sounds here. I’m not sure it’s working. How on earth would I know? I mean, it’s not like I’m a writer or anything, right? Wait…

5. I then drove home from Denver. By myself. With four kids. Four very young kids.

6. …And I arrived home to an excessively messy house, full of half-packed boxes. Everyone’s belongings are strewn all over the house, including mine. I have less than a week to get this stuff in order. I know, I know. I’ve had two months to get all of this done. But keep in mind that I’ve been Single Mother to four little tiny ones with very big needs. Plus, I haven’t had an exit date until now, and how could I possibly have known what to pack if I didn’t know when I was leaving? But now. Oh now. The mind-bloggling insanity begins. I have no idea—NONE— how I’m going to do this. If you looked at my house right now, you’d think that a burglar came in and ransacked the place, desperately searching for some hidden treasure, and when no treasure was found (unless you count the endless supply of hotwheels…) he trashed the place out of anger. Can you picture it? Really, I’m afraid that my neighbors are about to call the police. It will be embarrassing to have to explain that actually it was just me.
*I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…*

7. My husband just hung up on me. I’m pretty sure it was an accident. Then again, I was being REALLY obnoxious. Then again, he was laughing his head off. That’s one of the things I love most about that man— he thinks I’m hilarious. Wait. Perhaps he really DID laugh his head all the way off, and his ridiculous bluetooth ear piece fell to the ground and hung up on me. Seriously, though, people. What is UP with the freakiliciousness of those bluetooth ear pieces? It turns my hot hubby into an icky-looking sci-fi creature.

I don’t like icky-looking sci-fi creatures.

All sci-fi creatures are icky looking.

Not a fan of sci-fi.

Moving on…

8. He hasn’t called me back yet.

9. My angelic mother-in-law is taking the kids all day tomorrow. Wow. Now I can sit around and watch The N all day. Yeah…

10. I’ve been nominated for a few awards. I know. How crazy is that? I’d be honored if you’d vote for me… (Meaning, I will hunt you down and attack you with a plastic butter knife if I don’t see your name next to the list of people who’ve voted for me. Don’t think that I won’t.) Just click the little image and it will take you there:

This is the one I like the sound of the best:

Or, though I don’t call myself a “mommy blogger” I’d be okay if YOU call me one:

11. Now I have Milli Vanilli songs stuck in my head. “It’s… a… tragedy for me to see-ee the dream is over! And I never will forget… the day we met. Girl, I’m gonna miss you!” Haha! Now YOU have Milli Vanilli songs stuck in YOUR head!

Oh my gosh, this is a YouTube moment if I ever heard one. Go on. Click play and remember how much you liked these guys…

Sigh. I’ll admit it. I still love them.

12. Going now. Thanks for staying with me. Remember that Soap Opera Sunday is over at Kate’s for “the duration.” And thanks again to my awesome guest-posters, every one of whom as come through for me in a huge way these last couple of weeks. We’ve got just a few more for you this week! And then I’ll have to go back to actually blogging MYSELF! What the…?

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