Twas Brillig

Please welcome the always hilarious and fantastic Jenny of Absolutely Bananas!

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When Brillig asked if anyone would like to guest blog for her, I raised my hand with excitement.  “Pick me! Pick me!” I shouted, (as much as you can shout in the comment section), “I want to do it!”  Deep inside me I could FEEL this burning, broiling THING that needed to get out.  This was my chance to write about whatever I wanted in a place where no one who knew me in real life would ever see it.
I have things to say!!!
So Brillig signed me up to guest post.
And I promptly forgot what I so urgently wanted to blog about.

I find myself stewing over THE GUEST POST.  What will I write?  What do I say? 
Why all this pressure? You may be asking, Brillig’s a stand-up kind of gal.  She won’t fault you for giving her something less than your best. A movie review? Funny anecdote? Rant about the weather? All fine with Brillig, I’m sure.

And I’m sure you’re right.
But here’s the thing. Having the opportunity to write a post on someone else’s blog is big.  Really big. HUGE.

Every. Single. Time. that I sit down to blog, I am haunted by the awareness that THIS POST (along with the other 5,432) will be delivered directly via email to my Father.  And there’s this little voice that never shuts up whispering in my brain, “Do you really want him to read that?”
Then there’s the knowledge that every week my mother-in-law sits down at her computer, puts on her reading glasses, and peers into the screen and directly at my blog.  There go another 201 topics, right out the window.

And if that wasn’t enough, my mom is certain to call with concerned tone if I blog anything that seems to be at all sad, angry, or despondent.

“I read your post, honey,” she’ll say, “and here’s what I think.”

And good though her intentions might be, I DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT SHE THINKS.

I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!
MY BLOG IS NOT A LAUNCH PAD FOR DEEP AND MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS!!!

Then, like my own personal demons, there are the hoards of ex-coworkers, neighbors, relatives, friends, friends-of-friends, enemies, playground acquaintances and MORE.
AAAGGGHHHH THE PRESSURE!!!
Do you feel the pressure?
Cause I’m feeling the pressure.
There’s many good things about having an “open” blog.  Like, for example, you don’t write mean things about people, which they later find and hate you for.  Then there’s the fact that people sort of “get” what you’re doing and “support” you in their own special ways. 
But there are definitely the moments where I would give my right leg and maybe my left one too for the chance to blog in total anonymity.

How freeing would it be to be able to say whatever I want?!

The problem with freedom is that, without walls and restrictions and guidelines, you get bogged down by the available possibilities such that you can’t think of a single thing to say.
And then you’re stuck, right back where you started.

Hmmph.

Jenny is an award-winning TV-watcher, peanut-butter-from-the-jar eater and chore-avoider who usually can be found blogging at Absolutely Bananas and Seattle Mom Blogs. 

Ok, ok, so she actually didn’t win awards for any of those things.  But she should have.  She definitely should have.