Apr 17 2008
It’s a talent that I always have possessed*
(*Fluffy and I watched The Little Mermaid yesterday… the title comes from that. I’m sure you know that. But I had to tell you anyway, just so you didn’t wonder about the weird syntax…)
Tonight, Brian whisked the oldest two kids away for a little vacation up at a cabin in Park City— rented by his sister for her birthday, and where the entire clan of in-laws will be festejando for a few days.
I stayed home because I know that neither Fuzzles nor Scooby can sleep anywhere but their own beds. So the plan is for me to stay here tonight with the little dudes and tomorrow, after their naps, I’ll head up there to parTAY.
All of Brian’s family is there. His three sisters, their spouses, and a plethora of children, and his brother and sister-in-law and their rambunctious little one. And his parents. That’s a LOT of Brian-ites.
And the scheduled activities are very Brian-ite too. There will be hiking and swimming and even a family talent show. (I’m gonna have Scooby sing Linkin Park. Seriously. He can. Or perhaps I’ll have Scooby and Bubba act out this YouTube clip. They can do it perfectly. “Don’t tase me, Bro!” “What did I doooooooo!?”) There will be meals prepared, there will be presents opened, there will be 4-wheeling and hiking and kite-flying. There will be lots of talk about politics—before I arrive, that is. They don’t talk about politics with me because I’m A: Smart, and B: a heathen democrat who therefore must be a gay mexican abortionist on welfare who is GOING TO HELL. (Hmmmm, I wonder if they don’t talk politics with me because I’m snippy and sarcastic? Nah, couldn’t be.)
All in all, it should be very fun. Especially if you’re into 4-wheeling and hiking and wearing swimsuits, all of which I’m really… not into. But I love all the people involved, so it will be fun anyway! And my kids and hubbylicious will be in heaven—they don’t get many opportunities to do fun stuff like this, so it’s great for them to live it up every once in a while.
Anyway, ALL of that is besides the point. The point is, Brian and the eldest two of our offspring are gone and the littlest two are fast asleep and I have drunk enough Diet Coke tonight to stay awake until June. I was looking forward to a long, fruitful night on the internet, catching up on all my blogginesses (because I haven’t read any blogs in, like, an entire week. If not longer) and seeing what all my dear ones are up to.
And then? Betrayal of all betrayals. My internet DIED. Ka-POWEEEE. I couldn’t get it to connect. I gasped. I pouted. I cursed Comcast. I sat staring at the computer, thinking that maybe if I stared long enough it would magically repair itself. But nooooo.
Finally, I gave in to my fate: my internet-less night. I was left with several options: I could work on my book, because I don’t need the internet to type a word document. And I’ve been complaining forever about having this great story in my head but not having time to actually write it out. So, naturally, that’s what I did, right? Wrong. No, instead, I went over to my bed and shoved the clean laundry (the stuff I should have been folding) that was strewn all over it onto one side, grabbed some serious junk-food that I wasn’t hungry for but ate anyway, and plopped down to allow the television to entertain me into oblivion.
Except… there was nothing on. NOTHING! And, I’m a TV junkie. I’m so easily entertained. Still, there was nothing. So I went to the On-Demand options (no longer cursing Comcast, but adoring them with every fiber of my being) and found that I could watch a preview of the new Season 2 of Robin Hood. (Those of you in the UK will SHUT YOUR MOUTHS now. I KNOW you got this months ago, but BBC America won’t start showing them on this side of the pond until the end of this month.) And OH! How I was dying to gaze upon Jonas Armstrong these new episodes.
Unfortunately, it was very unsatisfactory. It only showed half of the first episode. WHAT am I supposed to do with half of the first episode?
So, I came back to my computer. To write my book. And yet, I’ve ended up here, babbling on my blog, even though I can’t actually publish this babble because my internet connection went out AGAIN. (And… she’s back to cursing Comcast.)
Which proves a point. I think. Yes, I think it’s possible that I have a point here. See, I hear people talk about how productive they would be if they stopped wasting time on the internet. But! I have proven tonight that I can waste time and be entirely unproductive even WITHOUT the internet! It’s a remarkable talent, if I do say so myself.
And I do.
Look! Look! I got a connection! I’m now going to publish this utter nonsense. Wheeeeee!!!
Did you ever see Dan in Real Life? Your family shin dig reminded me of that. I think families who seriously play together are AWESOME! And you aren’t alone in the not working on your new book camp . . . I watched a movie I have seen eighty times already instead of working on mine. Oh the guilt! (which I quickly assauged with twinkies and dr pepper)
I would pay CASH MONEY to witness Scooby singing Linkin Park. Awesome.
I’m glad to see I was not alone in wasting time last night when I should have been writing. (My guilt was assuaged with chocolate pudding.) Thanks, Brillig and Julie!
Big sigh. Me too. I was cross-eyed after a day’s writing. Well, at least the daytime was productive. I hope. Don’t know how you superwomen keep typing into the night.
Thanks for the chuckles, Brillig. Enjoy your family time in the mountains.
We find lots of ways to kill time. As time were something to kill, eh? So here’s a poem by William Cowper to inspire.
On a Spaniel, called Beau,
Killing a Young Bird
(July 15, 1793)
The Hunter asks
A Spaniel, Beau, that fares like you,
Well fed, and at his ease,
Should wiser be than to pursue
Each trifle that he sees.
But you have kill’d a tiny bird,
Which flew not till to-day,
Against my orders, whom you heard
Forbidding you the prey.
….
His dog replies
Sir, when I flew to seize the bird
In spite of your command,
A louder voice than yours I heard,
And harder to withstand.
You cried “forbear!” but in my breast
A mightier cried “proceed”
‘Twas Nature, Sir, whose strong behest
Impell’d me to the deed.
If killing birds be such a crime,
(Which I can hardly see,)
What think you, Sir, of killing Time
With verse address’d to me?
hehe. I like it when you ramble Brill.
Well done love.
Please record the Linkin Park singing. I’m dying to see it. DYING.
I have decided that wasting time should be my job. I’m THAT good at it . . . with or without internets.
We all do it…
My secret online fetish is late-night Scrabble. Pathetic.
But my husband frequently works into the wee hours, so when the kids are asleep it’s the quietest thing I can do that still makes me feel like I’ve done one thing fun before I go to sleep.
But here’s the funny thing –
what I most frequently put off is painting (read: career)
and what I actually did last night was start the first chapter (preface) of my long-procrastinated book. (read: hobby)
Perhaps we put off what has the most riding on it at the moment.
A sub-conscious vulnerability?
I also wanted to tell you, Brillig, that I love your blog! Good sign is that I find myself still thinking about a post or two for days after I log off. I’ve been forwarding links to friends everywhere — “In The Still of the Night” to several like-minded mothers, the tragicomic Gramma D posts to my adorable sister (who lived with the Mother-in-Law-from-Hell for the first 7 years of their marriage — including renting an RV so they could take her on their HONEYMOON!), “Be Aware” to a friend with an autistic son, etc. You may have a dubious talent for wasting time, but you also have a rare, invaluable talent for reaching people where it counts.
Gah! This post ought to have come with a warning, Dedee and I laughed so hard we freaked out Emma something fierce!
Wait. Your in-laws think you’re Mexican?
Holy, novelist, Batman! You’ve entered the world of the writer side of you finding any and all ways to procrastinate.
Oh, I loved reading that, it was so validating. I’m an expert time waster. I’m currently finding ways to fill my life with something other than the 140 page translation I wish were already done. Sigh! I’m so relieved to know that even without the internet I would still be blowing it off somehow. Loved the thing about politics, I so relate to it too. I spent my time waiting for my turn to interpret in court arguing @ politics with the alguacil. It’s lonely being open-minded in Utah
Absolutely–it was a real revelation for me when I found out I could equally waste time with or without the internet. Who knew? Of course, the fact that long before the internet ever existed I had Procrastination down pat might have been a clue . . . but I’d forgotten all of those prior years and was comfortable blaming it all on the internet.
It’s almost as devastating a revelation as when I found out after taking up smoking to help lose weight that I could EAT and SMOKE simultaneously (well, puff for chew, and chew for puff–but pretty much pizza slice in one hand and cigarette in the other). I did give up smoking–but I’m not quitting the internet!
Wow, the Brian-ites sound like my in-laws. Reunions always crack me up. My personal fave was when they (we) all did karaoke out in the woods while camping. How is that you may ask. Well someone had the brilliance to hook a karaoke machine up to a car battery. Man, I love my in laws.
Have a great time.
Count it a blessing that your in-laws don’t talk politics with you.
Mine are: self-righteous republi-christians who therefore are homophobic, borderphobic, choice-phobic, self-absorbed materialists without any inkling of how corporate welfare is a.)more damaging than social welfare could ever dream of and b.) the EXACT same thing to a much larger degree and to entities who do NOT need it.
And so help me if I can’t piss them off enough to stop talking politics around me. I’ve tried EVERYthing.
You’re in good company. I’m an expert time waster–with or without the internet.
When my internet goes down, it’s Spider Solitaire for me.
Brillig you’re brilliant (even if you are a democrat which does mean you’re a gay, mexican, abortionist and certainly going to hell. Hey, save me a seat will you?)
I feel that it’s disrespectful to my pioneer ancestors to hike. They walked so that I wouldn’t have to. (Or something like that) But have fun anyway.
I do some of my best goofin’ off when I don’t have the Man around, witnessing my slackerhood. My current snack of choice are those little 100 calorie packs. I feel so much more health conscience buying those…doesn’t help that I’ll eat half the box in one sitting.
hahaa, I’d totally waste my “freed-up time” as well, by checking every 30 seconds whether the connection was back :p
So urgent question: is SOS happening or not tomorrow? I have more old travelstories to type out.
I’ve discovered that the internet fills the time I have because I don’t want to do the other things on my list.
Let’s face it, it’s just more fun to blog surf than to do laundry and dishes. Besides, if you miss a few days blogging, you may very well miss something exciting or important.
Dishes and laundry aren’t going anywhere. They will wait for you as long as you want them to. (or longer)