Mar 25 2008
Stop, Shop, and Roll
Yes, dears, it’s day two of Wijvenweek. Today’s delightful topic is shopping.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that fat women don’t particularly like shopping. Oh, sure, we shop for potato chips and Dr. Pepper, but we don’t buy clothing very often. And even when we want to, have you seen the fat girl section of the store? It’s fully of fwoofy hideousness— the exact same styles that fat ladies wore when you were a kid. Polyester tents. It wasn’t pretty then, it sure as heck ain’t pretty now.
And then there’s the problem of trying things on. We’re searching for that outfit that makes us look super skinny. The problem is, we’re not super skinny. And when the clothes we’re trying on don’t manage to skinnify us (yes, it’s a word…) we angrily peel them off and throw them at the poor Fitting Room Clerk, as we stomp off and call our BFF to say that the clothes in this store are crap.
Plus, fat women like me are constantly thinking, “I don’t want to spend a lot of money on clothing, because I’m going to go on a diet and I’m gonna start running 14 miles a day and then I’m going to be skinny—and by next month I’ll lose 50 lbs and then I’ll just have to buy all new clothes.” So we buy cheap stuff. Ugly cheap stuff, convincing ourselves that NEXT month we’ll buy something expensive for our new tiny figures.
Yeah…
So what’s a fat girl to spend her money on?
There’s one answer. One thing that even fat women can’t get enough of. One item that no matter how much weight we lose (or, um, gain…) we can still wear, and therefore justify the purchase. Have you guessed what it is?
Shoes.
Ahhh, glorious shoes. Why do we need so many pairs of shoes? Because. That’s the best I can do. Because. I just looked in my closet and counted 11 pairs of black high-heeled shoes. Why does any one person need 11 pairs of black high-heeled shoes? Because. Because they make me feel pretty and stylish and with-it. Plus they’re all different. Really, they are. Brian doesn’t believe me, but I promise they’re very different. Some have square toes, some have pointy toes, some have peep toes, some have rounded toes. Some are shiny. Some hurt my feet so bad that I can only get through one hour of church before I start hobbling and leaning on strangers to hold myself up, all the while I scream and curse out my shoes (and then, once I get home, I put them away in a nice safe place so I can wear them next week).
And that, my dearest Gentle Readers, is all of my expertise on Shopping.
Actually, they make lots of fat women clothes now that are very stylish and pretty. Problem is, in order to wear them (or even shop for them) you have to pretty much be happy with yourself the way you are. The idea of wasting-money-because-someday-I-will-be-skinnier is out of the question. If you like who you are, you’ll like buying things that adorn who you are.
I, on the other hand, hate shopping of any kind. Not because I’m fat (which I am aplenty) but because I just hate it! Even for shoes. I believe that one pair of black heels and one pair of brown heels and one pair each of black and brown boots is more than enough to stock a wardrobe. Okay, and maybe some strappy, fun sandals. I think that all the women of the world are considering taking away my woman card. I do know what looks good on me and what I like wearing, and also I know what size fits me. So there is no need to try things on. I buy them right off the rack and very, very rarely do I have to return anything. Which is cool, because I hate shopping! So I spend little time at the store.
Unless, of course, I’m with my girlfriend, who loves to shop and who must have a new pair of shoes NOW. So I find myself (ugh!) shopping all the time. I do wish you women would revoke my card so I could be disallowed from entering the stores. Shopping online is fine with me.
I shop for shoes - because shoes always fit!
Ditto to purses. I have approx 50 pair of shoes and coming up on 25 purses. It’s the only thing I can buy when shopping with my skinny friends.
But - I have long given up on getting skinny next week, or the week after that. I shop the women’s section at Macy’s and find me some great stuff! And for jeans (because I am tall and fat) I shop at Lane Bryant the only place you can find both plus and tall in the same pair of jeans.
Love, love, love this weeks posts! What a great theme!
I love shoes. I love a lot of your shoes. I need more shoes.
That is all.
I was nodding my head through the whole post esp. about black shoes.
I know the people at Famous Footwear by name. Gulp.
I’m not even into the shoes thing - how boring am I? My post had to do with book shopping, because it’s about the only shopping I can get into.
Loved your post, as always!
I remember how much fun it was to shop when I was skinny.
I finally got rid of all my old skinny clothes because;
1. They were stylish in the 90’s, not so much now.
2. If I lose the weight I deserve to get all new clothes Right!
This has brought me to an interesting dilema. What to wear.
I have clothes that are too big, I have clothes that are too small.
Last week I needed a new outfit to wear to an event. I did the whole “shopping in the fat lady section” and was very dissapointed in the selection.
I briefly considered wearing this really cute maternity outfit I had at home, and just pretending to be pregnant for the evening, but DH didn’t think it was a good idea.
I finally decided on a nice pair of black pants (slimming) and a long purple silky blouse (Because if it’s long, people will automatically assume that I am skinny underneath)
I did not enjoy my clothes shopping experience.
I did, however, come home with 2 new pairs of shoes:0)
hmm I am so not a shoe person… wear the same shoes all the time and I am reluctant to buy new ones…only after the old ones have been repaired already twice and start being irrepearable.
Ok not always. and I do match colors: in winter choice of brown or black shoes and in summer white/black or brown, open toes or not, or sneakers. So more choice in summer. But all year round, I won’t wear 11 pairs for sure.
I’m a fashion idiot, so I’m not much of a shopper. But I was thrilled when I got to “store” (read: Keep in my closet and wear regularly) a good chunk of my mom’s wardrobe while they’re on their mission. SHE has taste and buys quality stuff. Can you say cashmere and eel skin? Yeah, baby.
I love shopping online, I must admit I’m addicted to techbargains, its such a great site. I think I get the best deals online too, but its hard to buy clothes online and things like that.
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If you think cool fat clothes are hard to find, try being fat and tall and pregnant. Apparently fat, tall women never get pregnant because I could find NOTHING that fit. I had to sew everything. It was horrid.
Ooohhh…. shoes.
I’m tiny and skinny (I know… you all hate me. I get it) and I still need to have lots of shoes. I have two closets worth and now that my stepdaughter wears the same size I do, she’s stealing them all!
Thank goodness she can’t wear heels to school.
Shoes don’t usually fit me unless they have Dora the Explorer on them. So I hate shoes. And shopping for them. So anyone who goes to South America gets to buy me adult leather shoes that fit.
Oh, how I hate shopping. I hated it even when I was super skinny. This is why I wear the same clothes day after day, year after year, until they literally fall apart. NB: No one really notices this when virtually everything you wear is black. Or, at least, they don’t say anything.
Hmmmm, I get this. I used to do that, buy the cheaper stuff as I would soon lose weight, but now i buy what I want. I am worth it, and so are you young lady.
Well, I have been coveting your too cute dresses as of late, so I would call you a savvy clothes shopper!
TOTALLY AGREE. Not that I would call either of us “fat women” - but I know I am NOT happy with the way my body looks now (I haven’t mentioned this to anyone in the blog world, but that thirty pounds I dropped last year? I gained 18 back. I’m now down eight from there. gah.).
But shoes. Sweet, lovely shoes. How I love thee. Although, I’m different from you because I don’t ever wear my shoes. I can’t wear them in the snow and I don’t dress up enough at work to wear them. I buy beautiful shoes because they’re cheap and cute (it’s like free puppies who don’t need to be fed!!) but then they never get worn out.
My SIL calls them Shoe Art. I like that very much. My closet is a gallery! Of pretty shoes, hats and purses that are never worn (because they. are. ART.).
Oh I am so with you on how every pair of shoes is different, even if they look the same to the untrained eye. Of course, my son is responsible for a particularly glorious purchase. I needed a new pair of sensible black pumps and he suggested I get the red pair as well.
Three years later those red shoes just make me so happy.
But maybe we should wax poetic about bags - purses, handbags, stylish backpacks. Another piece of fashion that does not judge based on size.
Then I could talk about my bright blue purse shaped like a watering can….
I am pretty good about not getting a ton of shoes, but I still like to look at them, and I end up shopping for my kids instead of me. I rarely get anything new for me, because after I have this baby I am sure to lose the weight I have been trying to lose for the last ten years…or at least I think about trying to lose it. The shoes I refrain from only because I don’t have room for them all…
My husband has more shoes than I do. He’s not a shoe freak…he just has more. Are they going to take my chick card now that I’ve admitted this?
I don’t really like shopping, not because I’m fat (which I totally am but I prefer “fluffy”) but because I just don’t know what looks good! I have to buy what’s on the mannequin just so I know the outfit goes together. It’s kinda pathetic…
I love shopping, and I’m a size 22 and weigh well over 200 pounds. And I’m not a shoe-aholic. I think the “fat women hate shopping” thing only applies to fat women who think fat=bad.