Feb 16 2008
Breaking Up Shouldn’t Be So Hard To Do
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(Part three of the Blake series. Part one, part two.)
Blake wanted to marry me.
We were having so much fun. He was so cute, so easy to be with. While we were incredibly different on the surface, we actually had a lot in common. For one thing, we shared a religion and religious goals. That was huge, because my religion was (still is!) everything to me. We were passionate about similar social issues— civil rights, tolerance, love, and just basic kindness. In fact, Blake was the kindest person I’d ever known. But he was also funny, obnoxious, and a big fat stinker—in all the right ways. He made me laugh, and better yet, he laughed at my jokes! He thought I was smart and hilarious! WOW! How could I not fall madly in love with him?
And, indeed, I HAD fallen madly in love with him. I had said, “I love you” to other boys, I might have even thought that I’d meant it before. But this? This was so different. This was life-altering, soul-consuming, tear-shedding, toe-tingling, floating-on-air LOVE.
And then he had to go and ruin it by trying to get me to marry him.
See, I was only 21. I was so young and I had so much left to do. I wanted to be someone before I got married— I had places to go, books to write, languages to learn, motion pictures to star in, and boys… there were so many more boys that I’d never dated. Age 21 is that age, you know? I was at my mental and physical peak and I couldn’t waste that by getting married! Ick!
Blake tried to be patient, but he was ready to get this show on the road. He loved me, I loved him, why weren’t we getting married?
I couldn’t really explain it, but I just wasn’t ready. I did love him, I really did. But I felt like I was being given an ultimatum: marry Blake, or break up with him.
So I broke up with him.
Now, by this point in my life, I’d broken up with a lot of boys. Always me— I was always the one doing the dumping and the leaving. And every time I’d broken up with someone, I felt as though a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders.
I was waiting for that feeling— that relief— but instead, as I walked out of his living room that night, leaving him with tears pouring down his cheeks, I felt bleak. Miserable. Like someone had permanently turned out the lights. And then… the tears came. Tears! I bawled and bawled for days! This was NOT like the other times. This was the worst feeling I could imagine.
I had made a huge mistake.
(to be continued…)
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Oh my goodness! Sad!!! (my post will be up sometime after 10:30am pacific time tomorrow - houseguests tonight.)
Oh, how sad. I can’t wait to hear the rest!
Hmmmm! Somehow, I saw this coming. I broke up with someone I loved when I was 21 too. It’s just too young, you’re on the verge of real life! What did you do about it??? Arggh!
You’re a mean girl, Brilli Button! Making Blake cry like that…tsk tsk. Can’t wait to hear the rest!
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I’m so sorry… that must have been impossibly hard for both of you. But you were right to stick to your guns if you weren’t ready. Awe….
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I know what you mean about the relief and how AWFUL it must have been to feel so miserable. Poor Brillig (and Blake)!
Very sad! I can’t wait to hear the rest.
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Mean Brilly for being mean to BLake like that! hahaha.
I’m finally playing along again. I got myself into something I’m never going to get out of by writing this story! HAHA
I can’t wait to find out what happens next. How did this make Blake feel?
I just posted this week’s installment for my little tale.
okay, I’m up.
I love this love story. It’s a chick flick movie in the making.
Oh so sad. Sighhhh.
I cannot wait for next week! The Blake story has had me from the get-go.
I am in thrall to you.
Hey there,
I just gave you a blog award. Come get it!
Wow! How sad. I can’t wait to hear the rest!!!
My post is going up anon. Promise!
Wow…just WOW! I cannot wait to hear the rest!
Sunday has never, ever, seemed so far away…
Grrh.. So sad… waiting for next..
I’m so sorry… that must have been impossibly hard for both of you.
Poor poor boy. I can only imagine the feeling…. ;D
holy hanna banana…can’t wait to read what happened next..lol.
But Brill’, breaking up IS hard to do. There’s even a song about it. And a blog post! Oh, wait a minute, that’s yours! Anyway, I can’t wait to hear how he healed his broken heart, and you suffered through yours. ‘Cuz that’s what SOS is all about!!
This is so sad. Where’s the rest of the story?