Twas Brillig

“What’s wrong?  You’ve been on edge all night!”  Hubby blurted out as I was kissing him goodnight.

Um… I had no idea what he was talking about.  Nothing was wrong, and I didn’t feel “on edge.”

I started thinking, “okay, what would he be talking about.  Am I upset?  Did something happen today that I forgot to tell him about?”

As I’m just about to the point where I’m whacking my head against the wall, trying to figure out what on earth he’s talking about, he announces, “you’re really terrible at hiding your anger!!!”

Again, I’m flabbergasted.  I’m not angry!  But the more I insist that I’m not angry, the angrier I sound…

Finally, I give up trying to convince him that I’m fine, I put my arms around him and tell him that I’m sorry about whatever it is that caused him to think I was upset, and I’m sorry for the stress this must have brought him.  He seems to accept that, and he goes right to sleep.

But I don’t.  I’m still perplexed by all of this.  I go back over my day in my mind.  Actually, as I think about it, it’s been both a great day and an awful one.  Great because I  had fun with my cute little family.  Since it was Monday, we had our weekly “Family Home Evening” where we had a Gospel lesson and then we all went to a local museum, and then milkshakes for dessert.  So much fun!

The bad part of my day was that the trip—you know, the one I filed for a passport for, the one I wasn’t going to talk about because I didn’t dare jinx it?  Yeah, that fell through very suddenly last night.  I confess that I felt some bitterness and frustration over that (just ask Kate… she was on IM with me when I found out) but I got over it, as I always do, and I was fine.  Still disappointed, but not angry by any stretch of the imagination.
Finally,  I decided to stop figuring out why Brian thought I was angry.  It was just making me… angry.  I was analyzing myself to see if there was any reason to be angry, and the truth about life is that if you look hard enough you can ALWAYS find something to be angry about.  I decided to stop looking.

Part of me now wonders if he was just using me as a science experiment or something.  haha.

I think tonight, just before we go to bed, I’ll ask him why he’s so angry.  Let’s see how he reacts…  hahaha.