Aug 04 2007
Dumped
Thanks, all, for your thoughts and prayers for my Fuzzles. After 21 hours in the hospital, he’s home now and doing fine. More on that later. For now, it’s Soap Opera Sunday!!!
(No button yet–there was an unexpected delay. Otherwise, we’ll proceed as planned! Yay for our first Soap Opera Sunday launch! )
To preface, in the fall of 1996, the internet was still a pretty new thing–as least for me it was. It was my Freshman year at BYU. My dorm had an internet connection in it and my roommates and I were transfixed by this new magical world. Because of the newness, there were certain rules that are now basic common sense but at the time they weren’t quite so obvious. Like meeting strangers in chat rooms and letting them take me out for breakfast…
Okay, the breakfast thing only happened once. And I was lucky–the guy didn’t turn out to be a homicidal sociopath. But he wasn’t exactly Mr. Right either.
I met him in a chat room one night–or was it super early one morning? After “getting to know each other” for a few hours through chatting, we realized that we were only chatting a few blocks away from each other. Did we want to meet? Should we go to breakfast? He knew of a great waffle place in Salt Lake City (an hour away) and he’d come and pick me up from my apartment in a few minutes. Sure, I said! And gave him my phone number and address (cuz, as I said, I was really smart like that).
So, I grabbed my roommate’s sassiest outfit and washed my face and I was ready to go. I sat by the window waiting for him to pull up. As he walked up the path to my door, it looked like he had definite possibilities. But once he got closer, it was clear that he was not nearly hot enough for me not exactly my type. Oh well. I was committed to breakfast with this total stranger and he’d seemed cool enough as we were chatting. So while romantic intentions were completely halted on my part, perhaps I could make a new friend.
So, we made the long drive to Salt Lake and I was… bored. The guy had plenty to say, though nothing very interesting. Blah, blah, blah. There were times when I thought, “um, is he still talking?” But I did notice that we’d been driving around forever. In circles. Finally he announced that he couldn’t find the place he was looking for and how did Denny’s sound. By this point, I was so ready to be done with him that I said yes, whatever. Let’s just eat.
Once inside the grease-infested Denny’s, we ordered and he started… staring… at me. “You’re so pretty.” I thanked him. “No, really, you’re so pretty! I mean, I expected that you’d be nice looking, but I never expected that you’d be so beautiful.” Ewww–the tone of voice. Come on, you know exactly the tone of voice I mean–the kind that makes you feel so icky.
“Thanks,” I said again, feeling utterly creeped out. The way he was staring and talking made me want to hide from him!
Finally, food eaten. Bill paid. Wending our way back down to Provo. All of a sudden, he pulls into the shoulder of the freeway, reclines his seat, and says, “I’m really tired. Mind if I take a nap for a minute?” YES, I minded, but I didn’t say so. I was like, sure, whatever. After a few minutes, though, I thought I was going to die. The little car (not to mention the weirdo reclined in his seat) was making me feel very claustrophobic. I was dying to get home and report to my roommates get back to my life. Finally, I said, “look, I’m sorry, but I really need to get home.” So he sat up, angry with me, and drove me home.
Ahhh, home. I was so glad to get out of that car. I’m sure I said something non-committal like, “hey, yeah, it was fun meeting you, maybe sometime we could hang out again, blah blah blah.” I was never very good at saying things like, “Dude, you’re creepy and you don’t have a prayer with me, so go home now and don’t call me again.”
Anyway, life went on. Every once in a while, he’d call me–not really to ask me out, but to see how I was doing, etc.
One night, I was with Matt at the grocery store (in the middle of the night, natch, and probably doing something bizarre and probably wearing something bizarre, but I don’t remember the details) and we ran into Weird Internet Waffle Guy there. I waved hello and was friendly, but I was on some important mission with Matt, so I didn’t pay much attention to WIWG (as I’m apparently now calling him).
The next day, I get a phone call. “Hi. This is WIWG.”
“Oh, hey, howzit?” I say, already bored with the conversation. hahaha.
“You have some explaining to do.” Oh my gosh, he was so angry. What the crap? “I saw you!!!” he screams out. “I SAW YOU WITH ANOTHER GUY!!!”
Ho. Ly. Crap. He was freaking out. He went on, “So, who is he? What does this mean for us?”
So, I told him, honestly, that Matt was someone that I was very close to who I loved very much and with whom I expected to spend a lot of time. (I conveniently left out that he was gay…)
“Okay, then, that’s it. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.” He was dumping me! “You and I are THROUGH!!!” And he hung up on me.
Mmmmm, okay!
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And now, here are links to all our other Soap Opera Sunday participants today!
Wanna play too? If so, please leave your permalink (the link to the actual post) in the comments (or email it to me) and we will update them periodically throughout tonight and tomorrow (Sunday) morning. And please remember that you must link back to Kate and to me in order to play along.
Thanks, everyone, for making our first communal Soap Opera Sunday such a success!!!
HAHA I knew the beginning and end of the story but I had NO idea you went to Salt Lake and that he pulled over to take a nap. That’s freaking hilarious!
Oh, I loved this! How’d you keep from laughing when he “dumped” you? (Glad to know that I’m not the only person who ever got into a car with a complete stranger.)
Oh, my gosh! Total bizzarro. Some people have such a lack of self-awareness–it’s stunning. Excellent post for the launch!
Bwahahahahahahahaha! The end was great.
Although I’m a little creeped out and glad he didn’t do anything awful. I was getting that bad feeling when he wanted to take a rest. Eewww….
This cracks me up so hard. I love the “I’m breaking up with you”, “Um, I didn’t know we were together” stories. So So funny! I’m still laughing about it.
Loved your post, though it gave me a creepy feeling just reading it! Your guardian angel was sure on the lookout for you!
The SOS has made my Sunday! It has been very cathartic to write my post and great to read the dramatic tales of others. What a terrific idea ladies!
I LOVED this story, Brillig! It was funny and so… unfortunately, common! In terms of similar experiences, I mean. Why is it that the creepy guys think you have something going on when clearly there’s nothing going on? Glad he got up the gumption to finally dump you, ha, ha, ha! Again, great story. I think I’ll hop on the bandwagon next Soap Opera Sunday.
Back from my hols to find an exploded blog so I’m blogging at
http://www.virb.com/1154530061135349 for the time being.
How is Fuzzles? Kids, they scare you to death somethimes don’t they?
Will join in Soap Opera Sunday when I have a proper blog site back, hopefully in about a week or so.
In the meantime, come and play if you ge chance.
Freaky guys always make for interesting stories.
What a nut! Who does that?
Wow…I take the weekend off and look what I miss! Praying my heart out for Fuzzles, glad he’s okay!
And here is a very, very late link!
http://kymburleev.blogspot.com/2007/08/first-kiss.html
Um….um…um….what? Seriously - what a random creep! Although, hearing this story has now given me an awesome idea for my first installment of SOS next week….I haven’t thought about the story in years, hopefully it makes sense when I post it. GREAT story!
Scary! Nutjobs like this exist the world over apparently. I’ve seen that happen to a friend of mine - a WIERDO of the highest order in the workplace - used to fix our computers - he conjured up this whole imaginary relationship with her inside his head and behaved very similarly to your guy. BLECH!
Hope Fuzzles is doing better - poor baby.
hey there…great SO sunday as always…you DO know you were lucky that he wasn’t an axe murderer right? Or maybe he was?? LOL. Anyway, I did also post my first soap opera sunday. The link for it is
http://canadianflake.blogspot.com/
Even if it is too late to add me to your list of links, please check it out when you get a chance. I would be interested for your feedback on my first attempt.
Bizarre beyond words! What a riot!
Oh my. I had my share of weird Provo guys too. Never had one take a nap on the date though. The best I had was a guy I’d met on the side of the road when he pulled over to help me change a tire. On the way to dinner he had me read outloud from a relationship book. I read, “Guys are really easy to understand. If he isn’y horny, give him a sandwich.” I looked at him and said, “good thing we are going out to eat…” The night didn’t get much better.
Ok, I don’t know you, but that was hilarious!!! I loved your story!!!
where is he now, i wonder.
this was hilarious.
okay i’ll say: book-worthy.
you know what i mean?
Getting dumped by a buy you weren’t even dating is a favorite of mine.
I’m guessing that by now, he’s divorced from a woman he was never actually married to.
Oh my! That is an AWESOME story. Definitely worthy of a deep, belly laugh. Still.
I’m glad he didn’t kill you or anything.
Glad he went his own merry way before he carved you up and stuffed you in a box or something crazy like that. I swear he sounds like the type of dude that would do that.
Great story. I know I have stories in the recesses of my mind. When I was in University, my friends would tell me my life is like a soap opera. I just can’t remember any details. I guess it’s because I have been removed from it for so many years. I will enjoy reading everyone elses stories.
CLASSIC! thank heaven for fabulous gay men who always manage to save the day! this is the weirdest story ever! no more internet dating for you
I think I dated this guy . . .
Thanks for the laugh. And I know where the waffle house is. It’s owned by polygamists andhas seriously the best waffles ever. Just off of fort Union Blvd and on 900 east.
Oh.My. I was one of those brilliant girls, too. I was 14 in 96 and *met* a british guy who I chatted with regularly. He was in his early 30’s. I gave him my home #and he actually called me there. Idiot. A couple years older, my friends and I met a few local guys out of AOL chat rooms. But, we used to hitch rides to the mall, too.
Am I totally amazed that I’m alive? Yes.
Am I totally freaking out about what MY kids are going to do? Uh…YEAH!
At least I got smarter eventually!
That is a crazy story, I can’t believe you actually did that. Hopefully you have learned from your experience.