Jun 27 2007
Responsible Parenting
And now for something completely different…
It was November of 1983, and the London air was cold and damp. I was bundled in my tan woolly coat with a cheap but adored scarf purchased at Bayswater Station wrapped tightly around my throat. My dear sister Amy, seven years my senior (though my closest sister in age), accompanied me through the dark streets as we made our way to the man who would help us.
I don’t know why we were allowed out after dark, just the two of us little girls. In my memory, it was very late at night. But since it gets dark around 4:30 p.m. in London during that time of year, it may have only been supper time. Either way, it felt sneaky to me in the moment. Amy was only 12, after all, and I was a wee 5 year old. Surely we’d said something very clever to our parents, who were likely too busy with research and students to want to fight with us over it, so they let us go. They certainly wouldn’t have understood our mission.
Finally we approached the man who would soothe our souls with the answer to our eternal question. The air was thick with the smell of rain, car exhaust, and cigarette smoke–all scents that would remind me of London for decades to come. Amy cleared her throat. “Excuse me,” she said, in her ridiculous attempt at a British accent. (She should have let me do the talking. My accent was real. Hers sounded like a mix of Utahn and Kentucky-an and South African. Even at my tender age, I could tell that she was trying too hard.)
“Excuse me, sir. I was wondering if you could tell me…”
My breath caught in my throat. Soon we would know!
“I was wondering if you could tell me when the next Duran Duran album will be released.”
I’m sure the man had to stifle a snicker. But we were earnest. Oh yes, this was vital information for us.
As it turned out, it wouldn’t be released until the next month there in England, and by then we’d be back in the US so we’d have to wait for several more months after that, as there was always a lag between release dates in the UK and release dates in the States. HOW WOULD WE BEAR IT?
I’m sure we whined and whined at the poor man, convinced somehow that if we just pleaded valiantly enough, he’d move up the release date for us. But when he wouldn’t budge, we left, defeated.
“Union of the Snake” had already been released as a single, which we’d bought on vinyl with our meager combined allowances, but it was only enough to tease us, not appease us. It seemed an eternity would have to pass before we could hear the rest of the Durany Deliciousness.
Yes, I was only five. But I had the great fortune of sharing a bedroom with Amy who at the wizened age of 12 seemed to know everything, and I was her apprentice. Thanks to her, I knew every lyric, guitar rift, and key change to every Duran Duran song ever. I collected posters and clipped interviews from silly British teen magazines. (I was FIVE, people! My oldest daughter is five, and she can sing the words to Barney… That’s the difference between the oldest, who is sheltered by mommy and daddy, and the youngest, who shares a bedroom with her teenage sister, I guess.)
I had five stuffed animals. They were Simon, Nick, John, Roger, and Andy.
And we had posters plastered to every last inch of wallspace. Amy had claimed John as her true love. Her best friend Alex (of whom I was TERRIBLY jealous, but that’s another story) had claimed Roger. They allowed me to pick from the remaining three.
Easiest choice EVER.
Hello, Simon!
(Though, I confess that over the years, when I no longer cared that Amy had already claimed him, I became excessively fond of John. Excessively.)
As the years went on, my obsession continued through my teens (and was very much revitalized in 1993, when I was 15, with the release of the single “Ordinary World”, which to this day I consider to be the pinnacle of modern music) but naturally it started to wane with age and maturity.
I grew up, and so did they.
A few days ago, I was cleaning the house and my kids were “helping.” I told Fluffy to turn on some music, so she grabbed my CD case and randomly put a CD into the player. Suddenly “Please, Please Tell Me Now” sounded out through the living room and all of my kids began singing and dancing as though their eyes had just been opened to the true beauties of this earth. I particularly watched my little Fluffy, who (for once) reminded me so much of myself at her age. And so, I pass the torch on to the next generation. While I’ve gotten rid of all the posters and the t-shirts and the interview clips and *gasp* even the cassette tapes, I’ve held onto the many, many vinyl records. One of these days, I will dust off my old record player and show her how to carefully place the needle just right, and I will bequeath my treasures to her.
Her world will never be the same.
Oh, yeah! And now the real gifts of parenting begin….
This was hysterical Brillig. I am not of *your* generation so didn’t quite have the same crushness going down with the boys of Duran Duran. But my little sister did. I think your big sis and my little sis are likely closer in age than you and I are.
But hey, I think you gave yourself away as a Utahn here. I called it “supper” growing up too as opposed to dinner. But wait! Is that a London term? I know depending where you are in the UK (or the states for that matter) *that meal* has a variety of names. Tea, dinner, supper…
But my little Utah self grew up saying supper, but then I changed (peer pressure). So seeing that word kind of brought me back.
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So, do we attribute our getting along so well to your immaturity or to me being wise beyond my years, hmmmm? And traditionally, dinner is the midday meal (a large meal), tea is around 4:00, and supper is the evening meal (generally a smaller meal than what Americans normally eat at that time).
That’s hilarious. I was in the same position, sharing a room with my 8-years-older sister. There was a Duran Duran poster, and I didn’t get it. She told me that was their name, and I was like “why would they both be named Duran?”
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Haha. I remember having the same question. And really, when you think about it, it IS a weird name. But hey, it worked out okay for them, didn’t it!
Whe we brought out our vinyl to show our daughter, she exclaimed, “Look, big CDs!”
Never did get Duran Duran tho…maybe they reminded me too much of the Bee Gees (I know, blasphemy)
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*GASP* And yeah, I’m sure my kids won’t get the whole vinyl thing. They’ll wonder why they can’t just use the CD’s, which are so much easier to work, and so much handier. Still, one day SOMEONE will appreciate my glorious collection, I just know it!
Oh my goodness I am going to have to call my little sister…see I was the 12 year old in this story. Only not in Brittain, but still…”you’ve gone to far this time…”
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I’m sure your little sister is eternally grateful for your influence.
ok I guess I missed the “coolness” of Duran Duran. I had the same love of music and had posters all over my walls too. I must be considerably older than you because my walls were covered with Shawn Cassidy and the Bay City Rollers…awwwww the days we would stay outside singing there songs and dreaming of marrying them..lmao.
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I have to say that I completely missed the whole Shawn Cassidy thing. But I have some DAVID Cassidy goodness here…
Ah, you are so funny that I laughed DESPITE being horrified by the reminder that in November of 1983, I was in my first semester of college. I had just turned 17 that month, but still.
If we’d met then, I would have been your babysitter, not your bloggy pal! Weird.
This also reminded me of teaching my 8-year-old brother the harmony part to “Hungry Like the Wolf” so that we could sing it together. Good times.
You’re fabulously entertaining, as always!
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Oh my gosh, I love that you taught him the harmony. That’s so funny!!!!!!
Ah, yes. Duran Duran was big when I was in high school & beyond. Now I have that song in my head. I’ll have to play it for my boys tonight!
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See? Responsible parenting in action!
Oh Brillig - I saw Duran Duran in concert in 1986, only to see Erasure as the opening act. But watching my kids dance at the Erasure concert last week was just wonderful. I know how it felt to have your babes bopping to “Please please tell me now [2drum beats]”!
And what a lucky 5 year old you were to get to hang with the big girls!
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You’ll be happy to know that right as I was reading this comment, my kids started singing their favorite Erasure song too! I think that responsible parenting clearly spans beyond just Duran Duran, but to all the greats of the 80’s…
Oh Brillig. You have once again let loose the floodgates of 80’s memories for me. Too fun! WILD BOYS! All time favorite song of theirs. Now I get to hear Hungry Like the Wolf and Rio in the grocery store. Let’s see when you were 5 I was 17, just like Luisa. That kind of bugs me.
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Ahhh, don’t let it bug you. You’re plenty immature enough to be here! (I mean that in the nicest way, of course…)
Heheheh. I must confess at five years old I didn’t know who Duran Duran was, but I DID know EVERY WORD to EVERY Cyndi Lauper song!
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Well, fortunately you met me and I plagued you with Durany mix tapes all throughout high school. Someone had to be responsible for your education.
Brillig, the Union of the Snake Tour was the first real concert I ever attended. I was 15, and absolutely crazy about the Fab Five. I had pictures of them and their logo plastered all over my locker at school (a constant source of mirth from classmates). Simon and John vied for the honor of being my favorite; the others were just…there. I was one of the few who knew where the name Duran Duran came from (the villian in Jane Fonda’s flick, “Barbarella”). Unfortunately, the concert was a bit of a let-down; all of the young girls were screaming hysterically, a la Beatles fans, so I really didn’t hear much of the music. But the album (CD, now) is still one of my staples, and I enjoy the songs each day while at work. Thanks for bringing this all back!
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That’s how I was. It was all about Simon and John, and while I recognized the need for the others musically, they didn’t need to be in any of the pics as far as I was concerned. And yeah, I can imagine that the screaming girls made the concert a little harder to enjoy!
Ordinary World was the first Duran Duran song I ever heard (I was musically neglected as a child, well, not so much neglected as behind by about two decades). Been hooked ever since.
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Well, better late than never, I suppose.
p.s. I lost some weight. Please don’t shun me. =P
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Now, Kim!!!! You know that that is expressively against the rules! People who I’m planning to meet in person must GAIN weight before I dare show my fat face. Could you at least wear a fat-suit to our dinner?
Um. I don’t really um. Well, that was a darling story about girls wandering the streets of London after dark!
But I’m afraid I wouldn’t know a Duran Duran song if it hit me in the head! In fact, I dont’ recall ever seeing a single one of those faces in my entire life!
So there.
But I do love the Bee Gees.
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Well, if I knew how to go about hitting you in the head with a Duran Duran song, I’d do it. I bet it would make for a great photo.
Ahhhh, so apparently between the years of 1981 and 1988 you were living on a deserted Island. Must have been fascinating…
Oh, you know my feelings about our boys.
The first pic in your post is how I love them to look.
Someday I’m going to run away with Simon (or John, or Roger) and everyone will completely understand. Even my husband.
Everyone will be very jealous and I will be the scandalous wife of a pop star…
Sigh.
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Ah yes, I met you through our mutual Durany adoration. And you’re right. EVERYONE would understand. It’s just a given that if you have the opportunity to run off with a boy from Duran Duran, you simply must take the opportunity. No one could condemn you for that.
I was a little too young for Duran Duran back then - love them now, of course (Everyone in the WORLD knows who Rio is..right?).
But I was raised on MTV and can completely understand the infatuation. I acutally thought I could grow up to BE Madonna. Boy, was I dissapointed (until The Book, anyway).
Cute story, Brill!
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Wait… you aren’t Madonna?
And your sister has the coolest name - EVA!
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I thought you might like that.
Oh how I loved Duran Duran! John was so hot!
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Truer words were never spoken, Lene!
I always loved Nick.
I’m going to turn on my Greatest Hits CD right now.
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Yup, that’s the one my daughter put in. And soon, the sweet sounds of “Please Please Tell Me Now” will echo through your hallways. Sigh.
I was a Duran Duran fan back in the day too
It is wonderful how our old treasures are reclaimed by our very own children all these years later. Snow White has even found great joy in some of my Teenagers old toys (original Nintendo, Sega Saturn, original Game Boy). Even my Crissy doll came out (posted about that on my blog this week). My children are rediscovering the music from the 70s - 80s and a bit of the 90s too.
Vinyl - oh my. When ManSon was only 5 years old he accompanied me on an antiquing trip. He saw a record (vinyl) and ask what it was. This made me feel a bit ancient but explained the use of records and record players.
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Yeah, you’re right. It’s so fun to see the things that we adored being discovered by a new generation!
BRILLIG!!! Oh my gosh, I had NO idea that we shared a love for Duran Duran! Or shall I say, Yummy Yummy. My sister LOVED them and even went to their concert - I was in Junior High and I still remember when she played each song for me and told me how they performed it, the fancy effects and how loud the crowd was screaming…ahhh, I was so jealous. Cody and I listen to Duran Duran during road trips ALL THE TIME. My Heavens to betsy, I love them so. And John? Oh yeah…sign me up for that. The blonde highlights and pretty-boy mullet? Too delish!
How I loved the decidedly delicious Duran boys. Hungry Like the Wolf? For real? Simon Le Bon in safari gear? It was more than my adolescent heart could bear. I think I’d rather not see them as they currently are. I understand Simon now resembles the Michelin Man more than that hotty Brit in Rio.
Duran Duran! Men wearing makeup! What could be more sexy? Nothing! Wild Boys!
Wow. You just can’t beat Duran Duran for 80s music. For the majority of my high school career my love of Duran Duran was my dirty little secret. (You must remember that I was pretty much a metal head and a punk at that age, so Duran Duran just didn’t fit in with my piercings and blue hair.) As soon as you mentioned the various song titles the waves of preteen-lovin’ came flooding back. I love that your kids were rocking out to “Please Please Tell Me Now”!
Interesting. 1981 to 1988 are exactly the years my children were born! (Throw in a 1984 and you’ve got all three!)
And I was in a bad marriage. So yeah! I was on a deserted island!
I was ten years old in 1983. My 80s music introduction was given to me by my older sister and included wonders like the Thompson Twins, The Three O’Clock, Aztec Camera, Elvis Costello and the Attractions and many more. I do remember listening to Duran Duran on the radio and singing along and admiring their ultra cool hair on posters and music videos.
My husband has introduced the boys to Thompson Twins, and they run around the house singing Tokyo and Lies, Lies, Lies Yeah.
I am ashamed to admit though, that after my early education in music I drifted from the path and actually own such shameful records as New Kids on the Block, Paula Abdul and Rick Astley. (I hang my head in shame…)
I never did get into Duran Duran….it wasn’t coolness, I’m sure I was into something much more frightful.
That elder - younger child stuff is fascinating, though, isn’t it? Especially when there is a bit of an age gap (unlike at my house) and the older siblings can really corrupt those littlies.
I love your blog, Brillig, and enjoy it more and more each day!
This reminded me so much of my older sister and myself–just transplant us northeast a bit to Helsinki and make the age gap 4 years instead. Her influence on me was just as profound. For years I’d make my decisions (hmm . . . what flavor of ice cream would should I get? What would SHE pick?) based on what I figured her maturity was. During that time, she started writing a book, so guess what I did? (Guess what I’m STILL doing?)
I love Rebecca’s word, littlies! I’m keepin it!
Oh, memories. I had such a crush on Simon. I wasn’t allowed to listen to rock music, so I would steal my dad’s walkman and hide in my room and listen to the popular music radio station. I thought I was so cool because I found a Duran Duran sweatshirt at a closeout clothing store and my mom bought it for me, thinking that it meant something in French. Ah, yes.
I discovered D2 when I was twelve. The year was 1982. The album was Rio. I became a fan(atic). When I moved to New Orleans in 1984 I met a group of friends that were equally in love with them. We all had “our guy”. Mine was Simon. We all wore “wedding rings” to show our devotion. (No, I’m not kidding….sad, yes…but also true.) I had every poster known to mankind. You could not see my walls or my ceiling….they even covered the walls, doors and ceilings in my bathroom and walk-in closet. (Have I frightened you yet?)
When Simon got married I stayed in bed for an entire weekend. When he almost drowned during a yacht race I thought I would die. I knew every lyric. Knew every detail of their lives. Owned every album, every single. I know the genesis of the band, the meaning behind the name and who played the character.
And then…..they split up…..
I had never seen them in concert. My chance had died.
Oh, but not so. They got back together and two years ago I got to go see them at the Delta Center. I had EXCELLENT seats. The MINUTE they walked out on stage I turned into a screaming 15 year old girl. It was amazing. I cried. I sang every song. I danced. And at the end of the concert I waved and John and he smiled, pointed at me and waved back. I can die a happy woman now.
Why does this band mean so much? When I was a teenager I was dealing with a lot of issues stemming from undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder and severe abuse in the home. I was abusing alcohol and smoking a lot of pot. I was suicidal a lot of the time. Whenever I felt like I wanted to die I would plug my headphones into the stereo and turn on Duran Duran and somehow the world would be all right. They were my shelter from an ugly world.
Thanks for this post.
wonderful story of family and continuing the tradition of love of music and the passion to be involved. I could not help but laugh when remembering that when I was twelve I was awaiting the new Remington Model 700 to be released!
It’s immaturity on my part. No doubt about it.
With three you have one sweet, innocent one (the oldest) who passes down a little more knowledge to the second one. Then, one day, just when you were planning to give your littlest one a little vinyl education, she goes round to a friend’s house and says ‘F***’ at teatime, causing amusement and delight all round. Not. How lovely that your big sister shared her music enthusiasm rather than anything else. They’re all grounded, incidentally.
I haven’t read this post yet - just had to respond to the Duran Duran pics lol! I had posters of them all over my wall as a teenager, and loved watching them yesterday on that Diana concert!
I know you told us to update our links - I guess I forgot - I popped over this morning to see if you had anything new since my reader hadn’t picked up anything in a while - duh for me eh?
Off to update the darn links now!
Oh my dear woman, you have caused quite a stir in this heart and body of mine tonight.
I would be like your sister Amy I suppose, though I was 14 in 1983. I had that white suit photograph in poster form on my wall. What memories. I’m still convinced to this day that DD is the only reason I made it through y teen years.
I won a fan contest a few years ago (when I was pregnant with #6 no less!) and got their latest CD personally autographed by all five. I don’t even let anyone look at it. I just touch it and think John touched it! How can a mom be so silly! Ack!
You write so well. What a fun story.