Jun 24 2007
Third Chad
It’s Soap Opera Sunday and Chad Part Three (here’s part one and here’s part two if you need a refresher…)
By way of disclaimer, I’m going to tell some things here that I’m not proud of, and you, Gentle Readers, will refrain from berating me…
As it turned out, Chad and I did have one important thing in common: the art of manipulation.
To the untrained eye, we were this blissfully happy couple. While we would have sworn that we cared a lot about each other, I think that what we actually cared about was the game. I needed him to adore me, but I wasn’t prepared to adore him back. While he was incredibly charming, handsome, intelligent, and funny, if he’d fallen off a cliff, I’m not sure I would have cried.
Before you feel sorry him, he was playing the same game with me, even though I think that his emotions ran deeper for me than mine did for him. Still, he used me. I was his trophy girlfriend–the girl he could take to parties to show off, the girl he could use to keep the many freakishly-obsessed girls away, and the girl whose mind he could mess with just for the fun of it.
I confess that my loyalty and commitment to him were… lacking. In fact, I cheated on him–quite regularly. And he cheated on me, too. We were quite open about it, and we hated each other for it, but we stayed “together” anyway. Even with our cheating, though, there were limits. There were lines we just didn’t cross when it came to cheating. (Doesn’t that sound stupid? Cheating-boundaries? Remember when I said, “let the unhealthiness begin”? Yeah….)
One night, he and I and a bunch of our friends got together to watch a movie. I don’t even remember what movie it was, but I remember not having the least bit of interest in watching it, so I immersed myself in an online chatroom while everyone else cozied down to watch the movie. My best friend Kate was there, and while I thought it was strange
that the two of them got all snuggly on the couch, I wasn’t really all that concerned.
Eventually, I left, leaving Kate and Chad asleep together on the couch.
The next morning, Chad sat me down to tell me that he’d kissed my best friend. It felt like I’d just been smacked across the face. When I asked him to expound and tell me how it happened, he said there was no explanation. (I’m not sure what kind of an explanation I was looking for, anyway. “What? You tripped and accidentally fell on her face?”) I stormed out of his apartment, furious and scorned. He had crossed the line, big time. My first item of business was to call Kate and let her know that she was not welcome to call me or see me or come anywhere near me ever again.
Part of me felt slightly guilty freaking out at Kate like that, because I knew her and I knew Chad. I knew that if they’d kissed, it had been all him and not at all her. Still, I had to freak out at someone, and Kate was my lucky target.
Just screaming at her wasn’t enough. I had to get back. I had to get even. How?
I had to tell her mom.
Kate was only 16 at the time, and was therefore still in high school and still living with her mommy and playing the overly angelic act that her mother was still buying. The best revenge would be to tell her mom who she “really” was and let Kate live with her mommy’s wrath.
By the way, this was the worst idea ever.
So, I let Kate’s mom know, very cleverly and subtly. I assigned my dear friend Matt to go to Kate’s house to pick up some CD’s of mine, offering her mom the explanation that Brillig wasn’t speaking to Kate anymore and why–and then leaving just in time for all hell to break loose (while I waited for him in the car).
In the meantime, I forgave Chad. Stupid girl that I was, I dumped my friend–the innocent victim–and forgave the jerk. And we went on, playing our game.
Until the Honor Code Committee called us in.
Many of you will have no idea what that means. Let’s sum it up by calling it the BYU Gestapo. BYU has very strict rules, and in my experience, they have great fun finding rule-breakers and hanging them as examples. There are spies everywhere–people who consider tattling to be an attribute contributing to their uber-righteousness.
I was being called in because I had enabled a girl, my friend Kate, to be in a boy’s apartment “after hours.” Kate’s mom had reported me, and somehow this was all my fault. And all the female Chad-adorers who hated me and wanted to see me burned only confirmed the Gestapo’s hunch–that I was wicked and needed strict punishment. And so I was called in, sternly spoken to about righteousness and lawlessness and was told that they would discuss me in their committee meetings (really? They had nothing better to do than discuss the world’s most trivial infraction?) and get back to me later. Chad was called in and given a similar spiel.
Long story short, the result was Honor Code Probation, meaning that if I broke one more rule, I would be thrown out of the school. I looked at the man who was in charge of my “case” and said, “you and I both know that this is ridiculous. How do I fight it?” And in true Gestapo fashion, he replied, “don’t bother fighting it. We have people watching you everywhere. They’ll get you on something, even if it’s not this.”
I was completely shocked. He’d just threatened me. They were spying on me. He knew who my parents were, but he wasn’t scared. Wait. He wasn’t intimidated by who I was–who they were. Ahhhh, they were making a public example of me. It was BECAUSE of my special last name that I was being harshly dealt with.
You’ll be happy to know that Chad got the exact same punishment that I did.
You may recall that I was on full-ride scholarship at BYU and, since I’d dropped out of high school (yes, that’s a whole nother story, friends) I felt that my whole future hung in the balance. I was ready to spit in BYU’s face and storm out in dramatic tantrum style, but I knew that the truth was that I needed them. No one else would accept a drop-out (they’d accepted me before I dropped out, and never bothered to check to make sure I’d actually gotten my diploma). I was stuck.
And for WHAT? Because I had “allowed” Kate and Chad to be together after hours…
Does this make any sense? No? Good. Because even after all these years, it still doesn’t make any sense to me either.
(It should be noted that not everyone has such a miserable experience with BYU and their Gestapo… I recognize that many wonderful people have wonderful experiences there. This is just my own personal experience.)
So you see, Chad and I were on rocky ground (had we ever been on stable ground?) We professed eternal love to each other, while fighting constantly. Oh, how we fought. How we hated each other!
And yet, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world when he asked me to marry him…
Aaaaaagh! The cliffhanger final line! Don’t make me wait!!
Actually, this one is so full of detail I will have loads of fun mulling it over all week, considering the BYU gestapo, the spying, the public example, and the being hung out to dry….
This is rich!
I am glad to know you and Kate are still friends because my heart broke just a little for her in this installment.
I get that whole manipulation thing… and the unhealthiness in relationships thing… I was a bit of a glutton for one of these myself.
Gosh, when does the dropped out of high school story begin?
Oh, and Brill? I SO linked you today…
WHAT?!? You’re stopping THERE?
Can there be a special Soap Opera Monday episode?
PLEEEEEEEZE?
exhausting! what a minx you are..
Ah! I don’t think I can wait a whole week! This is worse than trying to watch a television show that is still on-air!
Wowee, Brillig. I wish you had slapped the head gestapo guy with a black glove (or stomped on him with your stiletto heels…). Your Chad story reminds me of my Blake story (and my Charles story and my Steve story). So many bad relationships, so little time. Can’t wait to hear the end of this one!
PS. Your new web site looks great!
So that’s it? A wink, and a wave, and a ’see you next week’? Talk about a cliffhanger ending…
To modify Joseph Conrad slightly, “Oh the drama, the drama!”
I totally get (I know it’s wrong, but I get it) the crossing the cheating line thing. Been there. Suffered that. You NEVER NEVER hook up with a partner’s best friend! EVER!
Can’t wait for installment 4.
ah yes, and you rock, girl. TAG!
You know I wait for this. I really need to start on my own drama kicks. Not quite as good as yours, but it’s worth a try!
Ah to have the patience to make it till next week. (Actually, that won’t be hard. It’s girls camp this week!)
Utah is a veriveriscari place!
I love those Gestapo people. Every community in the world has some - people desperate for a totalitarian regime so they can feel that their tattle tendencies have an official outlet. Bad luck you came up against them so early; fantastic luck for your blog readers…..silver linings, etc.
The suspense is killing me.
Crazy ass gestapo. Wow!
Oh my gosh - I totally forgot about that!! How is it that I forgot about that? Hahaha…oh the drama. Poor Kate, although we have all done it - kissed a boy we knew we shouldn’t have…all in the name of a fabulous make-out!
all I have to say is OMGGGGG you are such a tease to us…how are we all supposed to wait an entire week to see what happened next…holy cow..I can’t take the suspense..lmao.
ACK! The entry I knew was coming . . . (hanging head in shame.)
My comment should probably be my own post, but I’ll try to be brief.
It was a stupid movie about Dracula, I was dreadfully tired and I fell asleep on the couch and HAPPENED to be next to Chad. Brillig was RIGHT THERE. Right near us.
I woke up kissing him. Cross my heart, swear to die. No pre-planning, no intentions, no attraction to Chad. Many girls thought he was the hottest guy around, and I was not one of them. Honestly, I didn’t think he was attractive at all (a reason that, unlike many of the rest of our friends, Brill and I had never kissed the same guy. We just weren’t normally attracted to the same ones) and I didn’t even want to kiss him. In fact, I had JUST started dating who would be come my one serious high school boyfriend.
So, for the record:
I am stupid.
Losing Brillig as my best friend S.U.C.K.E.D.
The person my Mother reported the honor code infraction to was my new boyfriend’s mother. Brillig’s parents were the most “famous” couple at BYU, followed closely by my new boyfriend’s parents. Now I was the slutty 16 year old who was dating the illustrious son of the self-proclaimed most righteous couple in Provo Utah. And I was shunned and forbidden to enter the house of the righteous for the next six months that I dated their psycho of a son.
So in summary, while I didn’t plan to kiss Chad, in kissing him I messed up a LOT of people’s lives. Including my own.
But oh the stories and laughter it brought Brillig and I later. And now all her readers! So yay! Sort of . . .
Oh, also, for the record? My mother was not spoken to for a very long time by me. I don’t think she had ANY business doing what she did.
Love her, but it was dumb.
hi bree!!!
welcome to your new domain. hope you enjoy being queen of your castle.
i can’t wait to see if you and chad ended up on good terms.
and also if you and kate ever made up.
I also like how honest you were to stand up and take your stance on your beliefs. Yes the post where you turned off your comments.
Even turning of the comments makes such a statement. Bravo.
Sorry for still sneaking in a comment here.
I shall update my link.
oh wait. kateastrophe is kate?
That’s great!
hello kate!
Hahhahhs! hahahhah! I remember all of this…holy johnnies. So many love triangles existed, yes they did. Just none that had so many…outward…consequences. HAHHA! Oh man, I can’t wait to get a refresher in installment #4.
All that over an innocent kiss…..hmmmm. I can’t wait for next week. BYU Gestapo…that is hilarious.
AAAGGGGHHH! Cliffhanger!
This was a juicy post. I can’t wait for more!
Cruelty, thy name is Brillig!
ooh, can’t wait for the next instalment!
that BYU gestapo thing sounds completely freaky, by the way
So late to the party….Kate you nasty little thing! Haha…just kidding. Didn’t we all end up treating a best friend badly in one way or another without even meaning to?
Also, I can understand the reasoning behind the BYU Gestapo (hahaha), but strict much? My goodness, you were all so young, NO room for mistakes at all?
Obviously, you didn’t marry The Chad, but I’m dying to know how it went down.
Yay! Look, It’s me! You added icons!
Wow!!! I get caught up in end of the school year craziness and come back to find you at a new home with a great soap opera series. I can’t wait to read more!!!! Don’t leave us hanging!!!
Just now reading this. I think I missed it while I was away in Vegas.
Wow, this is too good. Thanks Brill, for keeping me away from my work even longer now.
What? Marry him????? What??? Holy cliffhanger Batman!
I have an advantage here…I can jump to the last installment of “Chad”….woohoo!