Jun 05 2007
Unchanged
As you know, I’m in the midst of moving and I’m being the crappiest blogger ever in the process. Please know that I have all of you in my google reader and I’m keeping up on reading your posts, but I’m hardly commenting anywhere. I know, I know. Reading isn’t enough. Comments are the real validation for your writing. I get that. And I’m so sorry. One of these days I’ll take an entire day and catch up on all my comments.
In the meantime, though, I wanted to share a story from today. My little Bubba has a “friend.” We will call this friend “Brat.” Bubba always begs to be able to see Brat and to play with him. Brat lives in the old neighborhood, where the house that we’re trying to sell is located. So, since I was hauling all the kids down there today to begin moving the old boxes to our soon-to-be home, I thought I’d call this little friend and see if he wanted to come play with my son for a little while.
“He’s changed! He’s changed!” the Brat’s mom said, unprovoked by any question on my part. Brat had been a terrible bully to my Bubba, though Bubba loved him anyway. At one point, about a year ago, I had informed her that Brat was not to play with my son anymore, because my kid was being taught that it was okay for Brat to beat him up, and that Brat’s mom could be in the room and watch it and never lift a finger or her voice or anything–unless Bubba cried too loudly, in which case she yelled at Bubba, instead of her nasty rotten little abusive brat.
“He’s not a bully anymore! I’ve been disciplining him and teaching him not to be mean! You’ll see! He’s doing so well!”
I was hopeful, but skeptical. This kid really is the world’s biggest monster and his mother is the world’s biggest enabler.
But, because Bubba really wanted to see him, and because I was willing to give the kid another chance, I invited him over.
Within a few minutes of arriving at our house, Brat comes running inside (he and Bubba and Fluffy had been playing in the backyard) with giant alligator tears streaming down his face, announcing that Bubba had shoved him. His mother looked at me like she was about to murder my Bubba.
But before she could accomplish her intended homicide, Fluffy (who honestly should become a reporter due to her dependably accurate and unbiassed tattling) came in to tell the real story. Brat had attacked my Bubba with a metal dump truck toy, whacking him in the head repeatedly, until Bubba pushed him away so he would stop it.
Sure enough, when Bubba was located, his forehead was bruised and scratched. Even so, Bubba apologized for shoving Brat (something I didn’t even see as necessary! How proud I am that he shoved the kid away! What were his other options? Just sit there and take it?). But Brat didn’t (nor was he ever encouraged by his mother to) apologize–though he did smirk with satisfaction when he saw the damage that he’d caused on Bubba’s forehead.
Moments later, Scooby began screaming (TOTALLY out of character for him) and came running to me with his nose GUSHING blood. (I wish I could say that I was more worried about the nosebleed than I was about my carpet…) I gasped and asked what had happened. “Brat threw a shoe at him,” said his mother, nonchalantly. She’d SEEN him do it. My son was screaming and bleeding. Still, absolutely NO discipline whatsoever.
I grabbed my keys and said, “I’m afraid we are leaving now.” (Even though I hadn’t accomplished one single thing…)
“Oh! Okay! But when you come back next time, PLEASE call us again! I think Brat and Bubba really had a great time! They love to play together SO much!”
You’ll be happy to know that I restrained myself from poking out her eyeballs and frying them on a stick, though it is precisely what I wanted to do. Instead I gave a little half smile and said, “well, we’ll see.”
Needless to say, Gentle Readers, I’m not terribly impressed with the “changes” that she was so proud of. Nor will I be calling them ever again.
br>
“poking her eyes out and roasting them on a stick”?!! Wow… don’t mess with YOU!!! Totally feel your pain on this one… the only answer is to never play with that horrid child again. Revolting, utterly revolting.
sounds like the kids had a ball!
(some parents are just completely oblivious to the faults of their offspring I’ve noticed. I don’t think I’m one of them, gawd, I hope not)
The only way I’ve found to explain this to my children is to say that what goes around comes around. I can only hope that the same is true for mothers, and that someone will throw a shoe at her head someday!
Good luck moving. I’m doing the transatlantic thing in about three weeks and I’m in total denial!
“Accurate and unbiased tattling”–snicker.
Nightmare! Oy–How great that you have moved and need never encounter Brat and his horrible mama again! They both sound like total sociopaths.
You have so much restraint…I would have throttled her! That’s awful, and I hope your kids are ok (scratches and nosebleeds all healed up?).
I’m glad you left. That Brat sounds like an absolute monster. (And his mom, too!)
Goodbye Brat! Good luck in life! Sorry your pumpkins were hurt. I am typing in anger.
What, is she delusional!?
My nephews are like that. They also say a lot of things I would NEVER let my kids say, especially as a small child. (”You’re gay! You’re gay! You’re a f*g!” - from the freaking FOUR YEAR OLD!)
I discipline them myself if the person they are with doesn’t. I tell them that kind of behavior isn’t welcome in my house. If they have a problem with it then they dont’ need to BE in my house. (In fact, we were at THEIR house when the little one was saying that. I said, in front of step-grandpa who taught them that, that NB wouldn’t be playing with them anymore if he picked up those words, that I didn’t want him turning into a bigot and then unleashing that on his daycare center. Everyone got very quiet.)
Oh dear lord! It’s sad because you know Brat could probably be a decent kid if his parents would consistently discipline him.
Absolutely unconscionable. I really don’t get parents sometimes. How could she just sit there and LET her child be so abusive and undisciplined.
I have a very good friend who is a proud advocate of gentile discipline. And I agree, to an extent. When her 3 year old child feels the need to hit my 6 month old and she does or say nothing to stop him, that is not gentile discipline. That is not discipline at all.
Poor Bubba and Scooby. Hope Brat gets his own bully someday and learns his lesson.
I was immediately suspicious when you penned this child “Brat”.
Oh boy, unchanged indeed.
Sorry for your boys, but well done Fluffy for telling it like it is. Seems that girls are like that. Mine is that same way when it comes to getting the facts straight. Can’t get away with much around her!
OOOH. This is me livid.
You’re a much nicer person than I am. I would have laid into her. But then I also would have said something to the kid, mother standing right there and all. We have to remember, I called the police on a guy at Walmart this weekend for leaving his dog in the car, so yeah…*laughs*
Some parents are so oblivious. My son can be a bit rough, but I step in and stop him. He hasn’t figured out that if he smacks someone it hurts them…so I make sure he understands it’s not acceptable. You can’t get in the middle of every squabble, but you can’t let them hurt each other.
Oh, my. Just…sheesh!
Thank goodness your family is moving away from the ‘hood! Built-in excuse for never seeing Brat or Mrs. Brat again. No loss there.
You know, it just hit me reading your post that other mothers of bullies who have said the same thing to me in the past “They LOVE to play together!” must use this as a way of manipulating you into letting your child be abused by their horrible spawn. I’ve never had a mom say that to me whose child wasn’t a total pain in the butt. Hmmmmm.
I feel so sorry for Brat, being raised by a mother like that. And I use the word “mother” loosely, in this instance.
Wow, Brat’s mom must be high on crack if she considers that changed.
Sounds like she’s not taking her responsibilities very seriously. Which is sad. She’s got to nip that in the bud asap before it turn in to something much much worse. (not that truck and shoe throwing aren’t bad enough)
Yay Bubba for “fighting” back! And don’t you just love that our girls are great at recounting stories/tattling. I can count on J for that too.
It is really hard to keep up with the blogs when you are away for just a little bit. Everyone understands!
Oh how I hate bullying! My DS1 was bullied by friends and then he became the bully. We work on this CONSTANTLY. He is so much better but occasionally he relapses.
no,no, no..I am for frying the eyeballs.
I think you cannot change people like that, the mother or the son, you have to disengage and have nothing to do with them.
Bubba is a trooper and good friend, but you may have to explain the concept of evil to him. good lad.
I do hope both the children (yours) are doing alright now. Ice cream all round?
You my love need a glass of good wine and a bloody medal from the Dali Lama for not coldcocking that bitch where she stood.
Thanks, everyone, for your “comeback” ideas, your frustration, your commenting on my blog when I’ve hardly been commenting on anyone else’s, and helping me to feel validated in my anger! I’m glad that you all thought this was as awful as I thought it was!!!
And yeah, my boys are doing just fine. Boys are remarkably resilient. They’re made of rubber and they heal overnight! Now I just need to help them find some healthy friendships…
Thanks again, everyone!
I do believe that her eyeballs deserved a good poking and frying…that’s awful! It reminds me of my cousin’s son. In her eyes (and her mother’s, his grandmother), he could do no wrong…but this kid was a serious menace! He was mean and hurtful, he was destructive, he was disobedient, but my cousin NEVER disciplined him.
Once he actually told sons (who were 5 & 7 at the time) of another cousin of mine that our grandfather (who had just passed away) told him that he didn’t love them just before he passed, which caused them to cry uncontrollably…they’re still scared to be in the same room with him…who does that????
I must admit though….my brother and I took joy in scaring the crap out of him everytime he visited…we would follow him around, and as soon as he acted up we would be all “do it again and we’ll get ya!”…we were young…don’t judge!
Sorry about your kids’ injuries…you should send the bill to the eyeball-less lady!
You only want to roast her eyes? Goodness. How nice of you. I’ve yelled at kids for lesser offensive.
Some parents are such, incredible morons. We’ll unfortunately be reading about her kid in the local police reports in about 10-12 years.
That’s horrible. My nephew was bitten once at a mall play yard and the mom of the child that bit him simply ran away. She didn’t care that he was bleeding, didn’t try to find his mom to apologize or help…she just ran. the kid must do it all the time.
there are far too many bubbas in the world
Some parents are breathtaking - your little ones are sooo good - an apology in such circumstances? Wow.
Keep away - leopards don’t change their spots.
Brat sounds like my nephew and his mother is just like my sis in law. If they weren’t family I’d never ever ever see them again!
I have learned through experiences like these with kids in school tha its my job as a mother to keep my kids ways from those bratty kids AND their complacent parents–especially the parents ugh!
I have a really hard time when I encounter people like this (Brat’s mom). I always get in trouble because I try, but sometimes I just can’t keep my mouth shut, and I say things like, “If you are not going to discipline your son/daughter, I will do it for you while you are in my house/yard.” People just don’t like that for some reason.
Found you from Kim of Ramblings fame. (Actually, I guess it’s not Ramblings any more. It’s total insanity now!) I’m very surprised that you didn’t poke her eyeballs out! I might have, but I definitely wouldn’t have kept my mouth shut. You are a better woman than me.
I hate parents like that, partly because I know what it’s going to do to their kids and the rest of society down the road. Pity!
1. despite the bumpy passport picture, you are too cute! your eyes are absolutely gorgeous.
2. how is the move coming along? this
(as I am sure you have figured out) can be an extremely stressful time–so don’t forget to blog away and de-stress from the moving blues.
3. yes to not having to live with a loveable MIL.
4.loved the story about chad. you and Amy (Butrfly) are such great story tellers. i can actually picture the story in my head as i am reading it. love that anti-climactic end. …
5.love the bloglights–a novel idea from B-the-great.
6. how about that kissing scene with Mark?
and last but certainly not the least:
“I wish I could say that I was more worried about the nosebleed than I was about my carpet”
is just too funny and hysterically honest. (i feel exactly the same way about vomit)
hope you have an easy move.
~chesca
I’m baaaaaccckk!
I’m sorry about Brat. What a pain in the tuckus. I’m excited for your kids to make new friends in the new house! Yay for moving!
mwah!
Brat’s mother clearly not very, um, well, on the planet earth. Happy Moving! I’m next!
Yup. It’s gotta be the eyeball treatment. It’s tough but fair. Tip: Use metal skewers for better heat distribution.
1) We’ll definitely hear from Brat again–on the 6 o’clock news after he’s hideously murdered his whole family in their sleep.
2) Make sure you fry those eyeballs up with a little bit of soy sauce and a tablespoon of sugar. So delicious.
Oh. My. Goodness. I think you were the epitome of restraint! I think a few minutes into that mess and I would have been the one throwing shoes! Good riddance to the lot of them!