May 15 2007
Comment Confessions
And now, a post about comments. And no, Gentle Readers, it’s not me fishing for more comments. Honestly! Just some questions and observations, nothing more.
Do you judge a blog by its comments? Really? I gotta know.
When you click on a new blog, does your eye scan the most recent post and then settle on the number of comments the blogger has received for that particular post?
Do you wonder what’s wrong with the blog that consistently gets one or two comments per post?
Do you feel out of your league when you see a blog that consistently gets thirty+ comments per post?
I have to admit that I judge sometimes. Not always, though. I read a few blogs that rarely get any comments at all, and I think it’s some of the best writing on the internet. And then there are those blogs that seem to get thousands of comments, but are entirely worthless as far as I can see. But there are other times where I have to admit that I judge a blog too soon, good or bad, based simply on the number of comments it receives.
This is a hard thing for me to admit, because I am still a new blogger, so I certainly shouldn’t be talking like a seasoned snob. My little blog is not yet two months old. And so it wasn’t all that long ago that I remember being so excited to get more than three comments on one post–something that didn’t happen all that often at first!
I now average about 18 comments or so per post. I remember the first time I reached that 20 comment milestone and I thought I would die of joy!!! It then became a rather common occurrence to burst through the 20-comment zone. So, when I reached the THIRTY comment milestone, I spit rootbeer all over myself. Seriously. And it was on a post that I NEVER expected to get that kind of response from!!! I remember just sitting down and writing what was on my mind–no overthinking, nothing artsy fartsy, just writing what little was in the ol’ noggin. And then I checked back that night and discovered thirty comments. You can see that I’m still a bit starstruck by that moment, because it’s still the only time I’ve gotten that many comments. haha.
I find that in my own writing, Meme’s or shameless plugs for votes get the least amount of comments. Then the serious, darker stuff gets a similarly small amount of comments, but people continue to comment on them and revisit them over time and eventually the numbers go up. The other stuff, like soap opera sundays, and flashback fridays and just my average daily posts all get a medium amount. And then every once in a while, I’ll write something that will touch people for some reason and my comments will go way up, and when that happens, it’s a big surprise!
I have some amazing bloggy friends–friends that I know, no matter what I write, stupid or poignant, they will comment. They are my security blanket. They are always here, rain or shine.
Others a bit more picky. Sometimes they comment, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes my writing speaks to them, sometimes it doesn’t. And that’s okay! I have multiple personalities here, after all, and I can’t expect everyone to have something to say every time I write something!
And then, I see the lurkers. You might not think so, but I do. I see you. I’ve got sitemeter and google analytics and mybloglog. I see you. You come, you read, you leave. At first it kinda concerned me. Why aren’t you commenting? Don’t you like me? But then I realized that not everyone is a comment-hag like myself. Some are content to just stop in, read a little, and get on with their lives. Why should they have to validate me by leaving a comment? And so, dear lurkers, I welcome you too.
But you know what I’m learning? You just can’t blog for the comments. You can’t take the comments personally. This is what I’m learning, slowly but surely. Sometimes the stuff that I’m most proud of gets the fewest comments. Sometimes the mindless fluff gets the most. If you let the comments control what you write, then it’s not your blog anymore, but everyone else’s. And oh my goodness, I need it to be MY blog, not a popularity contest!
(Don’t get me wrong, though! I love comments! Oh, how I love comments! It makes me feel like there’s someone out there who cares about the crap I want to say! I just won’t write specifically to receive the comments…)
How are you on your blog? Do you feel that you are validated by the number of comments you receive? Do you think one post is better or worse than another, based on the comments each generates?
And how are you at other blogs? Is there a certain kind of post that you are more likely to comment on? Are there blogs that you comment on, no matter what the subject, simply because you love the blog? Are you scrupulous in your comments, commenting only when you actually have something to say? Do you use comments as a form of manipulation, to drive traffic from someone else’s site to your own?
I’m not actually sure that it’s fair to call that “manipulation.” It’s a game we all play and I think it’s fair. If I see a comment that I really like on someone else’s site, I’m gonna click on the commenter’s name, read their blog for the first time, and generally make a new friend. I’d say that I “met” at least half of the people in my bloglist that way.
And I love, love, LOVE to read (at other people’s sites) “I found your site through your comment on Brillig’s blog.” I see people meeting each other–meeting each other through me and I can hardly contain my joy. Let the blog-love abound!!!
Anyway I’m interested in your responses. It seems like there’s an unwritten book of blogging rules, and commenting has a whole section to itself. I’d love to know what others think of these things.
(Do you comment on posts that are way too long and contain too many questions? I guess we’ll see…)
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YES! I am the first to comment! This never happens to me…Ok, I am one of those bloggers who gets maybe 8 comments on a post if I’m lucky. I LOVE to read comments - I am so excited when I check my blog and there are new comments for me. I get crazy about it, too. I’ll talk to other blogging friends of mine and they’ll say, “oh, I saw your post - I loved it!” My response? “Did you comment? Why not? Are you going to?” If I come across a blog that has about 30 or so comments, I usually don’t leave one. Only because I (for some reason) don’t think the blogger will want to scroll through all the other brilliant responses to find my humble remark. Even though I would love loads of comments for each post, I must admit that even just one comment has made the post worth it!
No comment.
Just kidding! That will be the day, eh?
Wow. You asked so many questions that I’m not sure which ones, if any, to answer! I was thinking about maybe just making up more questions! Like… Do you ever read the older entries at a blog? This is something I do not do. I should. Because if someone did that at mine, I would love it. I got a comment at a pretty old post the other day. I think it was a couple of years old. I certainly would never have known it if I didn’t have that feature of being emailed every time someone comments. (Which is very pleasant when someone obnoxiously comments 27 times! You know who you are!)
ANYWAY, she said she goes to the early posts first because she figures that is where you find out who the person is. In their beginnings. Interesting strategy.
Of course I like it when people comment. It’s good to have a response to what you say. Communication comes from a word which means, “to give.” What we pour out is really sort of a piece of ourselves, so when that gift is appreciated, it’s a lovely thing.
I don’t believe the amount of comments at all reflects the value of the entry. I’ve found brilliant entries that are several days old, and they have zero comments. Sometimes, zero comments throughout almost their entire blog. And all of their entries equally brilliant.
But I don’t judge. Early in my online days, when meeting a new person I would judge them almost entirely based on their spelling and grammar. I’ve discovered this is not the true measure of a person. And neither is their blog popularity.
But I have one more question. Do you read the comments at a blog or do you just skip down to put your two cents in? And do you ever add a comment after someone has just taken up a TON of room communing with the blogger via commentage?
So, I HAVE probably judged a blog like that before, but for the most part I don’t. Some of the best posts tend to leave people speechless, so you have to learn to take that as a compliment and not think “Why aren’t they commenting?!?!?!” That’s why the “Comments: off” feature works so well.
Also, as far as lurkers go - some people just like to read. I have a few regular lurkers that have been around for a while. They *kinda* worry me because they could be some psycho killer collecting data - but they are most likely a mom who relates to my life (or doesn’t at all, I guess) and doesn’t want to call attention to themselves by leaving comments.
In time, they all usually comment on something or another, though.
Cathouse Teri - I liked your question, too, about reading back posts. I do. I try to read all the archives of the blogs I read. Some were easier - Like Brillig, Worker Mommy, Sugar Kane and Cherann - I “found” them before they’d written a huge amount so it was easy. Some day I would like to read the archives of the others though (like Suburban Turmoil who just has So. Many!).
I try to comment on everything I read. its hard, but I don’t like lurking. Even if I just say I was here..you know?
Lurkers make me nervous on my blog. I wish they would just tell me who they are. Why are they hiding?
I love my commenters/friends. They make me feel better about myself with their advice and words of wisdom and sometimes silly jokes. I look forward to hearing from them every time I post…And I look forward to commenting on their site because I have built a connection…
If there are too many comments, I feel like I don’t need to say anything because a) it’s probably already been said, and b) the blogger probably won’t even notice. I also look to see if the blogger responds. I do this, but just because I’m chatty, not because I’m fishing for comments. Some blogs I am a lurker on, and I’m sure I also have a few on mine. That’s fine. You can enjoy someone’s writing without saying anything.
I don’t understand the concept of knowing how many lurkers are reading your stuff. I don’t even care about that. Like, I also don’t care how many men look at my ass when I walk by. Or how many jerk off to my picture. I have no care at all about what people do with me in their minds.
Wow, these are great probing questions.
I read a lot of blogs (I should say “lurk”) and only comment when I feel like I have something other than “That’s funny!” or “Your kids are cute!” to say. I don’t comment to work the system. I’m not smart enough. I also don’t blog for comments, but I am amazed when I work really hard on a post and think it’s funny and it gets no comments - and then I spout off some dumb thing and get 30-something comments.
Blogs that received many comments used to put me off. Like Daring Young Mom cares if I comment - she has 856 other people telling her she’s wonderful. But I’ve since met her, and love her, and I’m no longer intimidated by her blog. Again, if she writes something and I have an actual intelligent thought about her post, I’ll leave a comment.
I’m getting less comments since I switched to Wordpress, which is fine, because a lot of people were pissed at me before for not commenting on their blogs. “I read yours, now read mine, you thoughtless ingrate” is not a good motivation for wanting to read someone else’s blog. Especially if it’s so boring it makes your nose bleed. When I switched, I found out who my real friends were.
I can’t believe you’ve only been doing this for two months. You seem like an old pro!
Oh, I think about this a lot! I love love love to get comments. It’s like getting a letter in the mail
I try to comment on others too…lurkers make me nervous.
Who are you and why are you not telling me you were here??
Depends on what mood I’m in if I comment or not
Sometimes I feel chatty, and I’ll comment, sometimes I feel less inclined to do so - it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading the blogs - sometimes I don’t comment because anything I was going to say has already been covered by previous commenters, and to state it again would be redundant at times.
If someone new comments on my blog I love it, I love having another blog to check out and I will always return the ‘comment favor’, as has been done for me as a new blogger - it’s like an acknowledgment and it just feels polite to do so.
There do seem to be very popular bloggers out there who don’t comment much on anyone else’s blog, from what I can see. I have to wonder if blogging is a bit of an ego trip for them?
On my blog, people seem to comment on the fluff more than they do on matters of substance. I’m not really all that shocked by this - but I won’t let it shape what I write about, since I do it primarily for myself.
Wow, that is a lot of questions Brill, but because I love you I’ll try and answer them (if I can remember them :).
I really have to echo what Janet aka Wondermom said in that “I love my commenters/friends. They make me feel better about myself with their advice and words of wisdom and sometimes silly jokes. I look forward to hearing from them every time I post…And I look forward to commenting on their site because I have built a connection… ” I absolutely feel the same way!
I have been known to be intimidated by blogs with too many comments but if I feel moved by a post (whether its moved to laugh, cry or shout) then I’m going to comment regardless.
My blog is a means of venting, getting out feelings and sharing the joys of my life so ultimately it is for me but if someone else enjoys it then I welcome them with open arms!
Oh yes and I usually tend not to judge blogs by the number of comments especially being so new to blogging myself. I’d hate to miss a hidden gem just because it received little or no comments.
But I love your honesty- I get a little “snobby” about some things too- hey we’re human ,right ?
I have, in the past, assumed a blog must be good because it gets so many comments–and then found that I Just Don’t Like It. I keep reading longer on that kind of blog, because I assume I’m missing something.
I used to not comment much on other people’s blogs, partly because I used to feel like “Why would they care what a stranger thinks about what they wrote?” Then I started my own blog and realized how happy comments are. Now I try to comment way more. Some blog posts, I can’t think of anything at all to say–but if I can, I do.
I don’t write “for comments,” but I admit it’s a little addicting to get them. I’m frequently surprised by what gets comments and what doesn’t. Sometimes I almost don’t post something because it seems boring or whatever, and then it gets TONS of comments; other times I post something I think is going to generate a lot of talk, and there’s NOTHING.
I always wonder how many lurkers I have.
I LOVE that you posted about this, because I’ve totally been thinking about it. I have a hard time commenting regularly; there’s a lot of times where I enjoy a post, but I really can’t think of anything interesting to SAY! So I’m an erratic commenter, I admit it. Sad, because I LOVE when people comment on my site!
I try to comment on friend’s blogs. I’ve found that our little community of bloggers has fostered a rather encouraging and supportive culture. I love comments as much as I love ice cream, but I’m with you. Writing for the comments makes it everyone else’s blog. And the whole point of writing one of these is to express YOU, right?
But I do judge a blog by it’s comments. I’m so guilty.
However! I am more likely to return to a blog when I see that the writer responds to comments. I appreciate a conversation once in a while.
Okay, as you know, I would normally go one by one and respond to each comment. Because that’s one thing about comments that I really enjoy. If I’m gonna take the time to comment, I love it when my comment is responded to.
In this case, though, your comments are more of a gee-whiz thing for me. Not really much left to say, except thanks for your honesty and letting me see into your commenting soul!
But there was a question from C-Teri that I wanted to answer. She asked if, when you visit another blog, do you read all the comments or do you just scroll down to the bottom and add your two cents. I actually do both. Normally I will read all the comments on any post that I’m planning to comment on. If I’m at one of the “popular” blogs and there are already a thousand comments, I probably won’t read them all. But I will ALWAYS read the comments from the blog-writer himself and I will always read the comments from my own e-friends at other sites.
Anyway, thanks again for the answers! This has been really interesting.
Well, I don’t really get very many comments at all, but I do receive a handful from bloggers I truly admire, which is more meaningful than big numbers, I guess. I am sometimes awestruck by how many a.) comments there are on some blogs I like b.) comments there are on some blogs I don’t “get” at all and c.) how many blogs there are total and how trick it can be to find ones that “fit.” So far this has been a completely intuitive process. I’ll subsribe to something for a week or so and then let it go if I’m not hanging on to reading it frequently, it’s just a feeling. I also have a few friends - some who blog - who read and comment on my blog, which is a good connection and also keeps me honest, cause I see them and talk to them all the time - sometimes they’ll call me after I post something to either a.) laugh b.) see if they can help me or c.) laugh, cry and see if they can help me.
Just found your blog today through Life as I Know it! Usually I don’t comment right off the bat when I discover a new blog, sort of feel like I’m interrupting….
YOu might be a new blogger, but you consistently get more posts than me.
It’s a good thing that I’m not insecure.
I tend to comment on all posts I read. Unless it’s one that I completely disagree with. If my life values disagree so largely with what is written I don’t comment, cuz I don’t have the right to bash someone. I just exercise my right to click that little x and close the blog.
I love leaving and receiving comments. I love bloggers that comment back to my comment and I try to comment to all that is left on mine.
I remember when my mom died and I posted a OMG MY MOM DIED post, that was very short. I ended up with like 30 comments, from tons of people who had never commented before, but say they have always read. So…even if I don’t have commenter’s, I’m thinking someone is probably reading.
Welcome, Swistle and Karen! So great to have new friends!!!
When did you change your blog layout? Looks great! anyway, you must be referring to me “I read a few blogs that rarely get any comments at all”.
I don’t get a lot and I think I’ve been blogging longer than you! I definitly LOVE getting comments though. It’s right up there with getting linky love.
Honestly, I only religiously read a few blogs. Yours is one of them I generally read my blog friends’ blogs.
I often don’t read the really BIG blogs because I sometimes feel they’re blogging to simply entertain and that it can’t all be true. If you want to know which ones, I’ll email you offline.
I also tend to avoid blogs that right really long posts with no paragraph breaks. I have a short attention span.
Hi! Just like your post said, I found your blog because you commented on mine. (Thanks for the comment!) I too started blogging a couple months ago and I’m very impressed that you have broken the 30 comment threshold! I haven’t broken the 3 comment threshold, except on the posts my parents commented on. Sad, but true. I have all the same questions and thoughts on comments that you do! Maybe it’s a new blogger thing. I love getting comments because it feels like someone is paying attention to what I’m writing. I comment on blogs that I relate to. (thus my extrememly long comment here!) I marvel at the blogs with dozens of comments. I read most of the comments unless there’s a ridiculous amount of them. Then I just focus on the blogger’s own comments. I also notice a lot of people visit my blog, but don’t comment. That’s okay too. Well, as your post said, I feel like I’ve “met” someone new as a result of a comment. So, my new friend, I will add you to my link list so I can come back and see what you’re up to! Take care!
I read blogs I like. Even someone like WaiterRant who never converses with me but who is a brilliant writer.
I don’t keep links on my blog (I outlink them on Kaboodle) just because I link because I like them, not reciprocal reasons.
Long posts suck. I stay away from those. ~ducking away and laughing~
See, this is why I love you Brillig! Not only do you take the time to comment on a million posts a day, but you also find the time to keep your blog all fresh and entertaining too! I only have 2 kiddos and I can barely squeeze in a few minutes to catch up on my reader lists, let alone try to formulate any sort of articulate comment. Phew!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting comments on my blog- but the feeling that I MUST get comments or else I’m a big fat unpopular loser is starting to fade the longer I blog(thankfully!!) I realise now - after reading lots of other blogs - that yes, some really great bloggers don’t get many comments at all and vice versa - and, also, that some posts are just EASIER to comment on. For example I may read a blog and read a really, insightful and moving post - but I may not comment on that actual post because I’m too lazy to think of an intelligent response. So then I may just comment on something ‘easier’ - to show support to the blogger - and let them know I like their stuff!!
commenter # 26!!!!!
love all these questions.
love how ultimately we want to blog for ourselves but just can’t help enjoying feedback.
comments for blogging is very much like the talking mirror in snow white.
I love comments. It’s good to know what people think… that’s kind of the point of doing a public blog, isn’t it?
I have yet to reach above about the 3 comment mark, hahaha! But I feel better when someone lets me know they are reading…it is validation in a way. I should be better about commenting, myself, because I don’t always let my favorite bloggers know that I like their stuff. I will work on that. Good post!
I’ll be back after I re-read all your questions and calm a teething baby!
Let me just say, though, that every comment makes me excited. Your average per post comment would be an all time high for me!
I didn’t read through the comments before posting this so I may be repeating something someone else said.
I’ve been blogging for just over two years. (2 years at Blogger, 2 months -almost- at Wordpress). This is, in my opinion, typical blogger maturation process. Just about all of us go through it at some point. I did, I’ve seen others go through it as well. I’ve read more than one post similar to this one. They are good questions to ask yourself and they are good realizations to come to. Personally, I try to be happy with my content. I try to be true to myself in my writing. If I get hits/comments fine, if not, that’s fine too because who I am blogging for? I’m blogging for me, not for anyone else. I putting things out there that I want to remember and to share. I’m expressing my thoughts and feelings and ideas. Getting feedback is the icing on the cake. It makes it better but it would still be pretty good without it.