May 07 2007
Grey Matter
My brain is oatmeal. Sticky, gooey, flavorless oatmeal. I’m not quite certain about why, though I suppose it’s very possible that it has a lot to do with the fact that I’ve been awake all night long with a fussy baby several times in the last week. Also, I suspect that the mind-numbing process of house-hunting is starting to get to the little grey cells. And anyone who tries on a regular basis to take four psychotic children to Church and then try to keep them quiet the whole time knows how damaging that can be on the brain.
And because I’m super, I’m gonna share the oatmeal with all of you:
1. I’m fully aware that Scooby just opened a bag of marshmallows that he’s eating for breakfast because his lazy mom is sitting here at her computer, unwilling to get up and think of something with a speck of nutritional value. Eat on, kid. You probably won’t get that good of a meal for lunch.
2. After a gruelling time at church yesterday due to alarmingly rowdy children, Hubby looked at me as we were loading the kids into the van and said, with a hint of desperation, “Okay. Which one of us is getting the *snip-snip*?” It’s still making me laugh. (Apparently he hasn’t heard that I’m planning to rip out my uterus and sell it on e-bay.)
3. My life would be so much easier if I sold my uterus on e-bay.
4. I won’t ever find my dream house in my price range. In my mind, I’m taking the best things about every house we’ve seen and combining them into one. I highly doubt that that “one” exists. I’m feeling like a big ol’ snob. But I don’t care. I want luxury living and I don’t want to “settle” but I refuse to be “house-poor” too.
5. Because of #4, I will probably still be in my mother-in-law’s basement a year from now.
6. #5 just gave me a heart attack.
7. Scooby and Lil’ Dude both need to go to the doctor for “well-baby” checks and immunizations–they are both late on those– and Fluffy needs to go have her various exams and shots for Kindergarten. I think I would rather rip every last hair out of my head rather than brave the doctor’s office with all the kiddos. I’ve done it a thousand times, but right now I’m just really not up to it. I have no idea when I’m going to get around to it. I’m such a super mom.
8. I have Barney on downstairs for the boys and a Barbie movie on upstairs for Fluffy. From where I’m sitting, I can hear them both. They sound really funny combined.
9. Diapers rule. Potty training is over-rated. It’s so much harder to go anywhere with a potty-trained child than with a diapered child. Plus, potty trained children have accidents. I’m feeling accidented-out. It’s too late for Fluffy and Bubba, but with the younger boys I’m not going to potty train them until they’re like 12. I hope the other kids don’t tease them too much. Maybe I should look into homeschooling.
10. I need a shower. I probably won’t get one today.
11. I need a nap. I probably won’t get one of those either, unless falling asleep during Barney counts.
12. Hubby and I watched “The Secret” the other night. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it. While I think that a bunch of it is a load of crap, I think that there’s also some real truth in it. What they call the “universe” I call “God” and what they call “believe” I call “Faith” and what they call “ask” I call “Pray.” When you make those little adjustments, I think there’s a lot of truth in it all. But it’s still a bit far-fetched. God loves us. But I don’t think He always gives us exactly what we want, no matter how much Faith we have.
13. Sometimes I want stupid things. Thank goodness God doesn’t give me everything I ask for.
14. Kate was in town last weekend. I still haven’t written anything about it or posted pictures of it, including the pictures of us sneaking into my house–you know, the one the Hubby and I built and then walked away from. As teens, Kate and I used to stalk boys. As grown-ups we stalk houses.
15. This post has taken me nearly two hours to write. And not because it’s been deep or required a lot of effort! I don’t get to just sit down and “blog” because there are so many needy little people all around me. I’ve changed diapers and cleaned up accidents and even given the kids food besides marshmallows and broken up fights and found things to keep each one entertained, all during the time I’ve been writing this post. I know. I’m awesome.
16. It’s time for me to start my “blog rounds.” So many blogs to read, so many comments to leave. I love the blog world. Every time I click on one of my bookmarked blogs, there’s something interesting or funny or insightful to read or see. The internet is cool. I feel so bad for everyone who lived in the last 5000 years without it.
17. Bubba just came running down the stairs carrying a block of cheese and a gigantic butcher’s knife. There’s nothing quite like seeing your 4 year old running with a gigantic butcher’s knife. Rest assured that I have since confiscated the knife and cheese…
18. There’s gotta be a better way to cut cheese than with a butcher’s knife.
19. The little grey cells are about to explode and then there will be oatmeal everywhere. Just add some milk and sugar and it won’t be so bad. And now off I go.
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This is what I love about you. Even on days you feel stretched to your limit, you manage to be thoughtful and funny! Hang in there!!
HAHAHA. You are so funny. I should probably SEND you the pictures of us stalking your house. They are a freaking hoot.
I miss you already and can’t wait for our next adventure.
Reading posts like this make me feel like a giant lazy ass. Thank you for the perspective.
Let the chaos reign! You know, I vent like the best of them about pulling my hair out on the hectic days - but secretly I love it and I know that an all too short time from now I’ll be wishing my babies were small enough to run riot all over the house
OOo the joys of cheese. My son eats so much cheese he has had hemorrhoids since he was 5. Try dealing with a kid screaming his butt is bleeding when you have a house full of company.
I don’t know how you do it.
I don’t even have a dog, let alone 4 kids and I’m tired all the time.
Too bad you didn’t get a picture of the cheese/butcher’s knife thing.
Hi-larious, dear.
Ha ! So funny !
Amen about the potty training. It seems like you wish for it so much but then when it happens you can’t go anywhere or do anything with out having to stop nine thousand times for a potty break. Ohh and don’t get me started on the poop accidents.
I think this day would have been a good one to capture on film too (like the Walmart trip).
I’m lovin you and lovin this post as I can totally relate!
#3 had me laughing so hard. I may have to buy it. We had difficulty between The Princess and JR. peanut…but we want one more because we’re both number 3 kids.
#9 It is over rated because they can’t tell when the pee is building up. All of a sudden (right after you’ve just strapped every kid into your car at the mall), the 3 year old has to go potty RIGHT NOW!
Hope your day gets better brillig!
#2 - I highly recommend the snip-snip
(in our case, hubby did it)
#9 - Amen to the diapers!
#10 - It’s embarrassing how few showers I seem to get these days.
#15 - took me several minutes to finish this comment since I had to get a certain two-year old down for his nap, thank goodness he was in a cooperative mood
I completely agree about the internet…what the heck did people do before it’s existence!
And I’m frequently overwhelmed by the sheer number of blogs and comments I feel I must leave each day!
Whoa! I just linked to you thru my sister Kelly (Nello)…..you have 4 kids under the age of 5? No wonder why you have an oatmeal brain. BTW, I call my husband “Bubba” and your “Bubba” looks like my Bubba’s little person pics.
Anyhow, love your blog.
Ah, sweet Brillig. Looks like we are having a similar day! Ok, I don’t have any many little ones to watch over. You are incredible, I hope you know. As I sit here and post my little comment, my little boy is sobbing because I have laid him down for his nap…ugh.
Today has been no good for me, either. But tomorrow? Oh, tomorrow I am not going to work. I am going to blog like a … um.. blogger, I guess. A MAD blogger. Mwah-hahaha!
Or whatever.
(The men’s procedure is much easier!! Tho I know a man at my work who had a vas after 7 kids…and it failed.)
Sugar Kane,
Thoughtful and funny, huh? Apparently you like oatmeal…
Kateastrophe,
THAT’S why I haven’t posted them! You haven’t sent them to me!
Melissavina,
Well, that was my goal…
Annie,
It’s true! I do enjoy it! A big fat lazy whining mom who loves it all!!
Burfica,
See? That’s the kind of thing that keeps me from ever inviting company over. That, and because I really am LAZY!
Whiskeymarie,
There are those times where you say, “Oooh, before I take care of that, I should take a picture!” But those are NOT the times when your child is carrying knife… Unless you are looking for Child and Family Services to give your kid to someone else…
Worker Mommy,
Yeah, I bet you can tell all the same stories, but in DOUBLE. I can only deal with one in each age group. You do it twice all at once! Sigh. You have my full admiration.
Cherann,
YES! That’s always the moment, huh! And, as for my uterus, you can have it for a very special price. It has served me well in my ridiculous fertility (not even the pill or the IUD can keep it from growing a baby!) and I’d love for it to serve someone else too.
Malia,
Oooh, how would you like your two year old to come and show my two year old how to be in a cooperative mood! But it’s funny that even with him being in a cooperative mood, it still took 15 minutes. That’s just how it is!
Jennifer,
I know! I LOVE blogging, but I always feel bad if I miss someone or forget to leave a comment or whatever. It’s become a full time job–without the money…
Holly,
Welcome, friend! I just read your blog and nearly DIED over today’s post. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Jewels,
Oh, I think your day was much, much harder! I’ve been at that breaking point that you were talking about today. In my case, I’m too lazy and tired to even have any emotions to break down today!
Butrfly,
Yeah, I’ve heard that the men’s procedure is a lot easier. But see, I can get rid of a lot of female nastiness in my life if I have the surgery. Plus, as you said, sometimes the guy’s snippy-snipness doesn’t always work… I can’t wait to see your day of blogliness tomorrow! I love that that’s what you want to do with your day off… That’s TOTALLY what I would do!
If you don’t take the babies to the well baby checkups, do they become unwell?
I think doctors should be the exception, not the rule.
BTW, after the snip, snip, sex is so much better!
That is insane. I am so glad that you took the time to tell us about your day!
That list just had me rolling. You’re just too much. Ah, the insanity of families. What would we blog about without them?
Oh - I thought my kids were the only ones who were loud, danced in the between the pews (loudly singing Blondie no less) and moaned to be fed. All while sitting behind the elderly women who have to be driven from the assisted living facility.
I’ll join you in the brain is mush camp.
I’m just glad I’m not the only one who lets my child play with GIANT KNIVES…
Happened upon your site tonight. Fantastic post, fantastic blog. I just had to let you know how much I appreciate your writing and,oh, how I can relate to the lovely chaos.
Teri,
Well, when you have four kids as young as mine, Doctors ARE the rule! I swear, we are there constantly. Which is why I feel so burned out at the thought of going again. I could write a whole post on how I’m not sure about routine immunizations, but I’ll save that for another day. haha. In the meantime, if I want them to go to school, they have to have all their shots. So I’m stuck, right?
Super Des,
Well, YEAH! What fun is it if I don’t BLOG about it?
Shauna,
Exactly! You understand my life so well!
SMID,
Welcome to the camp, then! There’s always room for more brain mush in this camp.
Jenny,
Yeah, see? What’s so wrong with it, anyway? A big knife just adds a little needed spice.
Janelle,
Welcome to Brillig-mania!! Thanks for the kind words. Do you have a link, so I can come visit you too?
I’m giggling like mad and feeling so gosh darn bad about it! I know the brain turned to oatmeal feeling quite intimately.
My hubby took neuroanatomy in grad school, and they actually learned the physiological reasoning behind that feeling. I had a two month old at the time he explained it all to me, otherwise I’d paraphrase it for you. I think I’d hit the cream of wheat stage by then though.
Wishing you much sleep. The only cure.
No, you don’t have to have them immunized in order to send them to school, but that’s another post too.
Seriously? Marshmallows for breakfast is a bad idea?
oops.
I know I am late weighing in (like you I can’t get to everywhere and leave witty comments all the time) but just wanted to send up a cheer for your hilarity and freshness. I love you Brillig!
Tell your husband to get the snip. It doesn’t hurt much, and he’ll be on his feet the same day.
I had it done shortly after soccer girl was born, and I am so glad I did.
GF
You will find your home…It happens when you least expect it…I found mine! After a while…
I am totally hearing ya on the kids in Church thing. We’ve got three and Sunday just kicks my trash.
the internet is SO cool. Sometimes I think I would have liked to be around in the seventies, smoking grass, listening to Bob Dylan and Janis Joplin - and MOST IMPORTANTLY wearing jeans that went up high enough on my waist to contain and control my twinskinned belly.
BUT. They didn’t have the net and that would have just sucked!
If you have time - go to my blog and click on the link that says Good Mummy/Bad Mummy - it might just make you laugh!