Apr 25 2007
the house that got away
“The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving.” - Oliver Wendell Homes
For the last five months, we’ve been building a house. And not just any house–our dream house. How I have loved this house. I have poured over every detail and lovingly handpicked everything from carpet to cabinets to hardware to light fixtures. It will be complete in ten days.
And yesterday, we walked away from it.
It almost hurts to say it out loud! I still can hardly believe it!
The reason that we’re giving our builder: Our old house hasn’t sold yet. We haven’t had one person express the least bit of interest in it and we’ve dropped the price as low as we can possibly go. So the builder can keep our earnest money and sell our dream home to the next customer.
All of that is true, but it’s not the reason that we’re walking away. We knew that our house might not sell, and so we’ve been saving our money accordingly. We really won’t have any trouble carrying two mortgages for a while (But sheesh, who wants to carry two mortgages!? What a waste!!!) But the real reason is that as we were preparing to put all that money down on the new house (the down payment needed to be deposited yesterday), our gut said no. Somehow and for some reason, this is not what we are supposed to be doing right now. It’s that unmistakable gut wrenching that you just can’t ignore–and you just have to obey. It’s scary and bewildering, but ever since we decided to follow our gut, we have been at peace.
So what now? We are certainly not going back to our old house. We both feel completely and totally DONE with it and the neighborhood. It wasn’t a bad house and it wasn’t a bad neighborhood, it just isn’t right for us anymore.
And so we’re scouring the internet and the real estate world and spending all our time going through houses and neighborhoods, searching our guts to discover “is this the right one?” And in the meantime, I’m sitting here in the basement of my in-law’s house with no end in sight. (My in-laws have been AMAZINGLY gracious. I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful they’ve been. Still, I’m ready to be matron of my own home and chef in my own kitchen and so on. And wouldn’t it be cool to have a place for all my junk?)
But finally, I’m at peace. The right thing for us is going to come along. And I just know that I’ll be so glad I waited.
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I am a big believer in “going with your gut”, Brillig…. mine has saved me on many occasions.
Good luck!
GF
Oh, Brill!
If you both felt that way, then I for sure would have gone with your gut.
I knew when we looked at our house that it was the one for us. Nowadays, I think “Why the hell did I never consider that we are within a mile of Wal-Mart???” But…it was right for us then.
Good Luck, dear. I know how *fun* house-hunting is!
NO WAY!!! Oh goodness, what a tough decision. I was so surprised to read this post, I never thought that would happen. However, if you both feel that this is what needs to happen then I’m sure everything will fall into place. You are both so careful and so smart about things, I really admire you for that. Good luck! I hope you find your real dream house! Love you to bits and bits.
That’s a sad story, but I think you’re right to ignore a feeling like that.
Here’s hoping for the future!
When its right…you will know.
Sigh. It’s official then, is it? Goodbye house! But hey, now you get to find a new dream house! And maybe it’s better, right?
Wow! That is so sad! I am so glad that you feel the peace that comes from making the right decision for your family! Good luck with the house hunt and keep us posted!
yes when you have feelings that strong it is not just something telling you not to do it. By this time they are YELLING at you not to do it.
It will all work out the way it’s supposed to.
Good luck.
I will do those answers up tonight or tomorrow on my blog.
You know, we have trusted our gut every time it voices an opinion on the direction we are moving. We have yet to be disappointed that we followed its counsel.
Hey! It got us here, didn’t it?
Best of luck with the next step on your path… you’ll find it.
Oh. Meant to leave the link to my place.
The gut is always right…
unless it tells you to eat an entire bag of chips.
There is more than one “perfect” house out there. You’ll find it, sweets.
Wow, you really took a good step of faith there. I too am a firm believer in the gut instinct, though. I get a bad feeling and zoom, I’m running the other way. It’s just hard when the feeling isn’t good or bad, but just iffy. I’m glad you got that sense of peace. It would be awful if your decision was followed up with panic.
yes to gut instinct.
my husband and i put down earnest money on a house that was showcase beautiful. when our first offer was not accepted, i did not haggle or try again because deep down i felt that the house was not for us. there was something about it that didn’t sit well. (not only was it double the price of our present home but it felt unnecessarily ostentatious)
to this day, our kitchen may be tiny and falling apart, but it is homey to me. i have no regrets.
I once had a boss that talked about these moments as an AFGO - another f*^king growth opportunity. Sounds like a big AFGO to me. And you already sound like you are in a good space (not literally of course). But soon in a physical sense.
Good luck finding a house. I’m sure that all of your efforts will pay off in the end.
I agree. Always trust your gut. Otherwise you might live with regret.
Wow! I’m sure it’s a little scary, but it certainly sounds like you’ve given it a lot of thought. I’m sure it will all work out!
Good for you! So many people say afterwards that they wish they would have listened to their gut. Congratulations on being someone who does it BEFORE they act. I’m sure that your new place will be perfect.
I love your guts!
Oh my goodness, you guys are amazing. Who would have known what an awesome support group I’d have found myself–right here in cyberlandia. Normally I would single out comment every and reply to it, but interestingly enough it looks like we’re all saying the same thing here! I’m grateful for all of your support and your kind words. Seriously. This overwhelming response was a real surprise to me when I turned on my computer tonight. Thanks everyone!
That would be hard after all that you poured into it. Gut feelings are a must to follow, so you did good, even better you feel happy that you did.
So, wow. An even better dream home?
I’ve had that feeling. And it sucks when it pops up at the most inopportune moments. Peace is worth it though, isn’t it?
Hope you find what you guys are looking for.
Good for you. There is nothing worse than not listening to your instints and living with regret.
Obviously the right decision - and good for you for sticking with your gut - many others would have proceeded so as to ’save face’.
Wow, what a tough choice! I bet I would have chickened out. But I’m glad you stuck with your instinct and are happy about the decision. Don’t settle!
Oh, I feel for you, and am so glad I read this post today of all days. I am going through the same thing right now. We just had to let a house go that we had an offer in on because our buyers just backed out.
It is so stressful.
The right thing will come along!
I’m very much a proponent of trusting your gut!
Imagine how much cooler it will be when you’re in a place that you truly know in your heart is the right one!
Wow. Good decision. I knew our house was IT the moment I walked through the front door. And we couldn’t make an offer for another 6 months and the price was amazing and the HOUSE was amazing and it was in perfect condition.
But it happened. Beyond all reason, we moved into that very house (after looking at a bajillion others) a year later.
Go with your gut.
Good for you guys for going with your gut. Not many people would do that. No regrets!
Wow. Thirty comments? SERIOUSLY????? And don’t I get a plaque for having a comment from Suburban Turmoil? Or at least a raise from my google ads? Or just the absolute stunned response from my fellow bloggers that she would actually grace my pitiful blog with her magnificent presence!!!!
I love you all. Even you first-time-to-brillig-ers. Thanks for this amazing response.
And here’s to “no regrets!” I’ll keep y’all posted.
Oh no! So sorry, brillig! Still, you have to go with your gut…
The gut rules. You did the right thing.
listening to your gut feeling is always an excellent decision! because it has something to do with your choices.. and you as a person.. although, loosing something that you have desired for, for such a long time is always heartbreaking. there is always something better that is truly meant to be yours.. as they say, when a door closes, another opens, and oftentimes the new one is ‘gold’. you may also talk to experts about this, they can help find the house that is perfect for you!