Apr 09 2007
The Easter Bunny (and other lies we tell our children)
I went to Walmart on Friday night, hoping to get an Easter dress for Fluffy. It’s a tradition that I like a lot because with her birthday being in December along with Christmas, she gets plenty of winter clothing, but not much Springy/summer-y stuff. And, since I get her something, I have to get something for the boys (this year it was hotwheels cars) and they always get a basket with enough candy to be obnoxious and on my nerves for a few weeks….
Walmart. Crazy. Oh my gosh, so crazy. I had no idea. Women who would have otherwise seemed like normal, rational human beings were scouring through the bottom of barrells reaching for the last princess sparkly plastic egg set or whatever the crap they had to have so desperately that they were willing to sacrifice all respect, decency, and logic to obtain. There were also no easter dresses left, so after going to Target and Kohls, and dealing with the same insanity there, I walked away with a little cotton summer dress that was not at all what I’d been wanting to get her, but cute and cheap and, well, a dress.
But amidst the craziness, I had to ask myself, as I have asked so many times before, why is it okay to lie to our children on special occasions?
I go to great lengths to make sure I NEVER lie to them. I want them to be able to trust me, to be able to believe me, to be able to count on me.
But then, when it comes to the easter bunny or santa claus or the tooth fairy, all I DO is lie. And for what? To pretend like it’s really a bunny who brings them candy and hotwheels cars and easter dresses? IS IT REALLY SO ESSENTIAL THAT THEY BELIEVE IT WAS A BUNNY AND NOT ME???
My parents didn’t believe in lying to us (maybe this is where I get it?) so they would tell us the truth and then explain that it’s just fun to pretend like it’s a bunny or santa claus or whatever. I think it made their lives SO MUCH EASIER and I don’t think I was scarred by their honesty. In fact, as I got older, I admired them for not being willing to lie. And holidays were still so wonderful! It didn’t take away from the magic of Christmas or anything. At least I don’t think it did…
My husband grew up much more traditionally with a mother who still tries to convince her 30 year old children that Santa is real. She’s darling and sweet and an excellent mother and her children obviously weren’t scarred for believing in fairy tales.
So, I guess maybe there really isn’t a right way or a wrong way. But when my daughter was told by a little boy on the playground the other day that there was no easter bunny and watching her defend the “truth” of the easter bunny with all the might that her little soul could muster, it sure felt wrong!
What do you all think?
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Being the HUGE fan of Holiday’s that I am . . . I am all for lying for the sake of the magic.
I realize that there is still magic in the holidays if you tell them the truth . . . but hey, you can use it to bribe them to behave too, right?!?!
Okay, so you know my take on the Bunny, right? I dont’ get that character at all.
If you scour my archives (as if you have nothing better to do) from December, there is a fwd I posted that talked about how Santa was in all of us and that’s how I feel. I LOVE Santa…I love everything about Christmas (okay, almost everything).
The toothfairy I’m not really sure about. We tried to instill that healthy teeth (ie BRUSHED TEETH) get more money, but the payoff takes so long, they don’t really get it. Plus, our TF gives a golden dollar, but Maternal Grandpa pays big bucks, so Sunshine decided on the last to forgo the toothfairy route until Gramps pays out. (Smart girl, but I don’t know if she realized she killed ol TF).
I think those are the only things we went with…
The best part of it all…I don’t think Sunshine even believes anymore..I think she plays along for our sake!
And Easter dresses were gone in Sunshine’s size TWO WEEKS AGO. (Apparently EVERY girl is now in a 7, just like a year and a half ago EVERY girl was a four.)
(I get pretty chatty in the comments too, see! It’s because I sit in my gray box all day and don’t talk to anyone!)
Great question! We definitely do Santa but didn’t really hype up the EB. I think generally its all in good fun but given the situation with your daughter, put in your place I probably would reveal the truth at that point.
But what do I know
I made the STUPID mistake of telling my two about wearing green for St. Patty’s Day or being pinched. What the hell was I thinking !? I had to quickly backtrack and say ” well some bad people do that kind of thing but really we know thats not nice right ? “
…I guess that was a little off topic but I thought it was worth sharing
I totally don’t remember believing in the Easter Bunny, but I do recall setting out celery because I was CERTAIN that Rudolph liked it better than carrots.
I don’t think my parents are liars because of that, but say they tell me now, in my thirties, that I was the daughter of the milk man, I might resent them a little.
Wait…there is no Easter Bunny? Are you joking?
I don’t see anything wrong with Santa or any of the other holiday ‘icons’. However, I do work hard to make sure my son knows the true meaning of each holiday. As long as they aren’t over shadowing the real reasons, I think it’s ok.