Archive for March 29th, 2007

Mar 29 2007

Muscle Guy Three

Published by Brillig under Blogginess

Here’s my cute little Fluffy in all her cute little fluffiness.
As I understand it, many children have imaginary friends. I never did, but that’s because I was way too logic-driven from a very early age. I guess I sorta assumed that since I didn’t ever have an imaginary friend, my children wouldn’t have them either.

HAHAHAHAHA

(That was one of my very few complaints about my own mother–she just assumed that my siblings and I would be just like her and it really threw her through a loop when we weren’t. She would buy me clothes in colors that would have looked great on HER, but TERRIBLE on me. She sent me to schools that would have worked for her but didn’t work for me. She tried to dissuade me from making certain career choices, simply because they weren’t the right choices for HER. And here I go, assuming that my children will be just like me, which they aren’t…. But I digress…)

Fluffy has an imaginary friend. Actually, she has an imaginary husband. (Where does it talk about imaginary husbands in the parenting handbook? WHERE???)

She talks about him ALL THE TIME. By name. And what’s his name?

Muscle Guy Three.

And how on earth did she come up with that name?

I HAVE NO IDEA!!!! NONE AT ALL!!! She just started talking about him one day. In great detail. She knows him so well. I kinda think she knows him better than I know my own, real, flesh-and-blood husband.

For the first few months, Hubby and I snickered. It was so cute, so silly.

We don’t snicker anymore. Muscle Guy Three is part of the family now. Seriously, we’re so accustomed to him and stories about him that we don’t even flinch. I ask her how Muscle Guy Three is today and she answers me in a very civilized manner. It’s very matter-of-fact for all of us now.

Soon she will go to Kindergarten and it will be interesting to see how her friends respond to her stories about her Husband… I hope they won’t be too cruel…

Did you have an imaginary friend when you were a child? If you have children, do they have imaginary friends?

7 responses so far

Mar 29 2007

As I sit here, staring at the computer,

Published by Brillig under Blogginess

I see her there. I see her name as it pops up as she signs onto instant messenger. I know that she sees me too.

She was once the dearest sister anyone could have. Ten years my senior, she adored me, defended me, gave me a voice when others thought I was too young to deserve an opinion.

I don’t know when she became angry. Actually, as I think about it, she’s always been angry at someone–it just wasn’t ever aimed at me.

Months ago, at our happy family reunion, she’d had it with me. Right there in Disneyland, in a very loud way and in front of all my siblings and all our kids, she made it clear that I was no longer welcome to speak to her. She was no longer interested in me or my children or my opinion. She walked away, dragging her kids and husband behind her, and has not spoken to me since.

My attempts to apologize for whatever it was that I did have been ignored or, worse, ridiculed.

Life is too short for this! We mean too much to each other!

So I sit helplessly, staring at her screen name, knowing that I can’t be the one to make contact. I just wait, knowing that she sees my name there too.

3 responses so far

Mar 29 2007

Storing Stupidity

Published by Brillig under Blogginess

A few weeks ago, I was at a grocery store going through the check out. I handed the cashier a nice, perfectly organized bundle of coupons. As if I weren’t standing RIGHT THERE, she turns to a fellow cashier and says, “you know, these people come through with coupons and I just want to say to them, ‘get an education!’ Seriously, they’re so pathetic.”

Uh…. First of all, being a cashier like her at Albertsons CLEARLY requires a higher education than what I have. Secondly, only DUMB people use coupons because SMART people choose to buy their cereal at full price. And, lastly, I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE!!!

Similarly, though a lot worse, my dear friend Kate was joyfully spending lots of money in Vegas a few days ago. She asked a sales lady if they had a certain pair of pants in a larger size. *I pause here to define “larger.” We are not talking about a gigantic size, here. We are talking about a perfectly healthy, normal, socially acceptable size–and somewhat smaller than MY current size…* Anyway, the sales lady said that no, they do not carry that size anymore. Later, Kate was in a dressing room in the same store and overheard the sales lady saying, “yeah, Corporate doesn’t carry the FAT sizes anymore. I guess they don’t want FAT people shopping here.” Snicker, snicker. Kate, of course, heard every word.

Sales people can be really dumb. Clearly.

Have you had things like this happen to you? This is a chance to share your worst stories! Also, how did you handle the situation?

4 responses so far